Sunday, October 23, 2005

Girls Talk Baseball. No Really!

Comedy is where you find it. Girls talking baseball is one place.

My stepmother, who was knitting during Saturday's first World Series game, started discussing the Sox bullpen with me when Bobby Jenks was brought in to shut down the Astros at the end. Stop rolling your eyes.

We were talking about how big the Jenks kid was. Okay, fat. A tub o' guts. His size and shape reminded me of a slim David Wells, although that may be an oxymoron. Jenks is also so young and so new to the White Sox, they could call him Baby Jenks. If he does drugs, they could call him High Jenks.

That wasn't the funny part. I know, hurry up and get to it.  

I had never seen a pitcher throw that hard in a game. Despite the pressure of the crowd and the worldwide audience, he blew away some prime meat in the middle of the Astros' lineup to earn a save.

Hey, that sounded kind of sportswriter-ish.

His 100 mph fast ball left skidmarks. His dominance reminded my stepmom of Randy "The Big Unit" Johnson, the formerly invincible Astros' pitcher who's now with the Yankees.

Okay, here it comes --  the funny part.

Like most women, myself included, who find a lot of pro sports nicknames unfathomable without someone to translate their meaning, she looked up from the pretty purple scarf she was working on and asked, "Why do they call him The Big Eunuch?"

Now that's funny. But she wasn't done.

Throughout the game Fox had cameras and graphics for everything from a strike locator to a worm's eye view just in front of the plate.

I found the attention to detail entertaining. I'm not sure she had the same experience. After the last out, she wondered , "Who is this Rusty Arms guy?"

I am not making any of this this up.



bosoxblue6993w said...

well, that 'rusty arms' theory was pretty quickly put to rest, wasn't it?    jENKS REMINDED ME OF A RELIEF PITCHER FROM THE 60S ... dICK rADATZ

paulmcs said...

I finally understand why Randy Johnson walks around with that perpetual scowl.

cubsandcoffee said...

My late Mother, my 19 yr old daughter, and I are the ONLY females in my world who LOVE baseball.  It has been such a treat for me when you write about it.  Go Astro's! (Sorry)

floralilia said...

of course, genuine congratulations on our shared vivi'tude nomination are hereby issued to you from the Floralilian compound.

And the Official Vivi-tude Proclamation on the whole sordid matter is hereby issued as well.

do stop by.