Friday, December 9, 2005

Stuff I Learned Lying in Bed with Food Poisoning

Tea, rice, jello, applesauce, chicken broth, 7-Up and the remote -- my recipe for surviving food poisoning.  To make it more interesting there's almost a foot of snow outside that needs to be dealt with, but I'm sticking near the porcelain throne today.

The Southwest Airlines 737 mishap at Midway Airport here in Chicago yesterday occurred exactly 33 years to the day that a United crash at the same airport took 45 lives. 

The six year old boy who was in a car that was crushed by the plane was the first Southwest fatality since they began operation. And he wasn't even on the plane.

By the way, have you noticed that AOL is calling our journals blogs? Also that Joe of Smoke and Mirrors seems to be stepping into Scalzi's territory with some of his posts? Or am I just getting paranoid?   

Chita Rivera is 73. She is singing and dancing on Broadway even as I write this. She is proof that being a lifelong dancer is smarter than playing sports. And don't point to the septugenarians who run marathons.  It's not like they're doing more than a shuffle.  Ms. Rivera is performing in a one woman show every night with matinees on Wednesday and Sunday. Anne Miller danced until she was embalmed.

Does it bother you that Dr. Phil's son Jay is engaged to a former Playmate or Penthose Pet who posed naked for everybody?  Not that posing naked is a bad thing. It's just that it makes me wonder about his priorities.The guy is a law school grad with a number one best seller to name just two things.  Is she like a stripper who's working her way through med school?  And they met by accident in the produce section of a health food store?  Or is he just the poster boy for his dad's new book about getting the relationship you want?  Maybe he's just being real. Lots of smart guys say they want a woman with a good heart, good sense of humor, and a good mind. But a good set of hooters never hurt.  I wonder if Dr. Phil included a chapter on cheap plastic surgery for women over sixty? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I better post this before my new mouse eats it.

NOTE to Oprah -- quit shilling for your new musical, The Color Purple, on your show.  Oh no, she just gave the entire audience tickets. 

Today I am determined to learn something useful watching TV. We'll see.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Make sure you throw in some bananas, as well. You need to replace the lost potassium.

If I had the kid's money and connections, I'm sure I'd be meeting a lot of strippers by "accident" in the produce section. It beats waiting in line for the private-dance room.

Anonymous said...

I am impressed. When I had food poisoning, I wasn't even able to stand up, let alone eat or drink anything. If I could have driven myself to the hospital, I think I would have. Feel better!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

What to do, what to do. Get real? Get naked? Write a book? Get real naked and write a book about it? Hmm.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phils X-wife lives in my city and she has the REST of THE STORY on him.  Like father like son, I say.  Watch court TV today, if you need a good laugh.  Anne

Anonymous said...

Chita Riveras still alive !!!!!?????!!!!!!
Anne Millers dead !!!!?????!!!!!
Doctor Phils son is petting a penthouse pet !!!!!????!!!!!
Good Gawd ive been living in a cave x

Anonymous said...

I love learning stuff from the folks who comment here.  I Googled Dr. Phil's Ex wife and found Debbie Higgins McCall who was in fact Dr. Phil's number one. There's an unauthorized biography about him coming out soon, written by two female reporters, one of whom is in Kansas City where Ms McCall lives.  They were married in 1970 after high school and it lasted for two years. He had a health club that failed along with the marriage. She hated how controlling he was. Now I guess she is selling a mug with their wedding picture on it and one of his sayings, "What was I thinking?"  Or something like that.

BFD.

Also -- Jay McGraw's new fiancee was a member of the construction crew on his reality show, Renovate My Life or whatever it was.  She and her two sisters, they're triplets, were on the show.  You can also see plenty of nude shots of her from back in the day when she was a Playmate.  

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Mrs. L

Anonymous said...

Ha! I just had a conversation with one of my brothers how buying a Hooter's Calendar is not the best Christmas present for my other brother! I told him, any woman who comes in your bedroom & sees that calendar is not going to be too happy! Men!

Anonymous said...

   Is it just me .... or is Dr. Phil even more droll and monotone than Ben Stein ?  Geez, he makes old Ben look like the life of the party.  Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme

Anonymous said...

Lord, I remember seein Anne Miller in one of the recent sitcoms performing as a dance teacher. She really looked good, but shortly after that she died...but you are right about dancers....look at Tina Turner wow, she's really something and older than you or me.....Sandi

Anonymous said...

I thought all strippers were working their way through med school.  (Hence the preoccupation with anatomy.)  They're just killing two birds with one stone, those wily gals with the clear heels.
Anna
ps hope you're feeling better, don't forget the BRAT diet....(bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) :)

Anonymous said...

holding my breath
Marti