Monday, May 22, 2006

Patrick's Saturday Six

Saturday night I was on the computer and the doorbell rang.  Hmm, it's after midnight, WTF?  So I ignored it. A booty call? Haaaaaaa. A girl scout selling cookies? Ummm, no. Some goof? Probably. 

About two minutes later the doorbell rang again. I wasn't expecting anyone.  And anyone who wants to come to my house after midnight better call first, so I ignored the doorbell again.

Then I heard pounding on the front door. So I got up and walked out to the living room and said, "Who is it?" No answer.  I peeked out a window and saw what looked like an SUV parked at the curb with its engine running and its tail lights on. But for some reason, there was no one at the door now.

I shouted, "Who is it?" again. Suddenly there was a flashlight shining into my living room through a window, someone was trying to force open my front door, and there were male voices shouting something I couldn't understand. Apparently they couldn't hear me at all.  So I went outside the back way, came around the front and yelled,"Hey, what do you want?" 

I was confronted by two cops and a guy who looked like one of my brothers -- what's he doing here? Until I realized that my "brother" was my next door neighbor. I had left a garden hose on. It was pumping water into a window well which had filled up and water was about to go into the basement.

My neighbors came home from a party, heard water running, went to check it out, and tried to call me, but I was on the computer so they got voicemail.

Meanwhile some cops patrolling for teen drunks and other stupid people saw them walking around with flashlights and thought they were trying to break into my house. Since I have the smallest house in the neighborhood, this was not likely, but you never know. The cops weren't in a regular squad car and they didn't have any flashing lights on, plus their car was partially blocked by one of my trees, so I had no clue who was out there. Or I wouldn't have ignored them.

Anyway, I turned off the water. End of adventure. I better set up the DSL on that line again. The call from my neighbors would have reached me. The cops wouldn't have thought the neighbors were breaking in. Or that I was dead. Or needed to be rescued. And nobody would have started to take down my front door. 

Mostly I'm just glad I still had my clothes on. 

All of which makes the Saturday Six seem very tame by comparison.

Check out other Sixers at Patrick's Weekender URL:

1. Do you believe in near-death experiences? Have you ever had one yourself?

I am a believer. A few years ago I talked to a cameraman who entered an industrial paint room without protection and subsequently suffered internal and external chemical burns so severe, painful, and finally, life threatening, that he was pronounced dead by the medical team taking care of him. The moment they pronounced him dead he was floating, pain free, above the docs on the ceiling of his hospital room, watching it all take place. When they revived him he was suddenly sucked back into his body to experience the unbearable pain for many more weeks.

I have never experience a near death experience myself, but I have flashed on another person's near death experience from a motorcycle accident.

2. If you could have on DVD any old television show that you adored as a child, which show would you pick?

TV wasn't invented when I was a child. Okay, I lied. But it was black and white. Plus my family didn't get a set until I was about nine. We had to make do with playing outdoors, drawing, card games, and spending time with our families. Meanwhile, my mother kept waiting for the prices of TV sets to come down. There wasn't much to watch in the fifties. Except the Kate Smith Hour, Uncle Johnny Coons at lunchtime, The Howdy Doody Show after school, and White Sox Baseball.  I loved baseball.  If I could have a DVD, I think I would love to see a game where Satchel Paige was pitching again.  He was at the end of his career, in his late forties, even his fifties, but the guy was still good and the announcers just loved to tell Satchel Paige stories from his days in the Negro Leagues.

3. At what age do you plan on retiring? Do you suspect that you'll keep working past that?

What's retired? If you mean not doing what you love to do, then I won't retire.  If you mean not working for a boss, I retired from that a long time ago.   

4. Take the quiz: What kind of food are you?

I'm Japanese food. "Strange yet delicous.  Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw. "  
Is it just me or does that sound obscene?

5. When is the last time you ate the type of food mentioned in your last answer?

I had some tuna makaki two weeks ago with friends at a Japanese owned restaurant that features a couple of Mexican sushi chefs. That took me some time to get used to. I'm over it. Usually I have a California roll from my grocery store at least once a week.

6. What was the last photograph you took? Have you posted it online.

The last photograph I took is still in my camera, which is in my car, which is out in the driveway.  Right now, I'm not dressed. Since I don't feel like putting on clothes to bring it in to see what pictures I took, I can't tell you what the last picture I took is a picture of.  [Ha, I checked. It's a purple Harley I saw at the new place near me.] Needless to say, it hasn't been posted online. YET. But, don't hold your breath.  


screaminremo303 said...

I've always found you to be worthy of conspicous consumption, regardless of your internal temperature. I'm referring to your literary product, of course.

Chivalry is not dead.

swibirun said...

Ha ha ha Remo:x

Did you notice you spoke of being unclothed twice in this entry.  I'm starting to wonder about how you spend your free time at home.

Funny story.  I am sure your neighbors are real happy with you:)