Sunday, June 4, 2006

A Couple of Amusing Asides

Story Numero Uno

These aren't big yuks.  They're little yuks.

On the way back from New Orleans the week before last, the captain was doing bits over the intercom. I missed the first couple of funny comments he made because I was reading and never pay attention to those incidental flight deck interruptions usually.  After the cabin burst out laughing a second time and I didn't know what they were laughing about, I decided to pay more attention. 

Following our landing in Chicago we taxied to the gate, but stopped just short of the jetway.

You could hear the click of seat belts being undone. Before the captain had turned off the seatbelt sign. Tsk. Tsk. 

Captain Comedy obviously knew what was happening. He came on and said, "The sensors in our seat belts have indicated that several of you have already unbuckled your belts." 

Silence.  Everybody started looking at each other. I'd never heard that before. Sensors in our seatbelts?  The guy next to me who travels to New Orleans every Monday and returns to Chicago on Fridays, just laughed and said, "There aren't any sensors in the seatbelts."  Slowly a trickle of chuckles went through the cabin.

Captain Comedy had struck again. But I got to enjoy the last laugh of the flight.

I wanted to use the lavoratory on my way off the plane. There was one up front. But I had to wait because somebody beat me to it.  So I sat in the front row seat in what passes for First Class on TED.  While I was waiting, the Captain came out of the cockpit and left the door open.

I had an unobstructed view of the captain's chair. It took me a second, but there amid all the controls, dials, and buttons for flying the plane was a big red EASY button. Just like the one you see in the Staples commercials. 

Turns out he had left it there for the next crew to find. But I was the only passenger who got to see it. 

Story Numero Dos

My former trainer has a cute boyfriend that she lives with. Bill is tall, dark, and handsome. What you might expect a cute and perky spin class instructor to be with. For some reason, he and I run into each other everywhere. At the post office, the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the spa I used to go to, the bank, the foyer of the office building where his company has an office, Walgreen's -- a lot of places.  Oddly, I never, ever run into her. 

At the airport in New Orleans, waiting to check in, I happened to turn around and who should be walking up, but Bill. Cosmic. He even sat on the aisle like I did, just one row in front and across from me. I introduced him to the people I was traveling with who also found it interesting that we keep running into each other. On the plane at the end of the ride, my seatmate asked if we worked together. I said, no, he's my former trainer's boyfriend.

For some reason that answer wasn't very helpful, if the expression on his face was any indication. But it was all I had.

1 comment:

swibirun said...

You are messing around with your former trainer's boyfriend?  Shame on you.  You can't fool us you NICOMPOOP (he he)