Sunday, June 4, 2006

Lazy Ass Posting for Sunday

As a public service and because she's basically lazy, Mrs. Linklater posts stuff from her email when she's short on things to write about.  Luckily for her, somebody sent her something for today: 
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.  
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.


mosie1944 said...

Mouse potato.  That's me.

screaminremo303 said...

Allow me to add one: Management By Walking Around

I perfected this one while working as a collections supervisor at DiscoverCard in the 80's. Grab a half-cup of coffee, a stack of manila folders and legal pad. Pretend to walk the hallways in a harried fashion, stopping to talk to employees and asking them innane questions geared towards creating organizational anarchy.

"Have the relocation folks been down this way yet?"

suzypwr said...

In my computer classes, I teach percussive maintenance.


ber144 said...

Seems like I have had a bevy of salmon days lately.  What a perfect phrase.

lacaza3 said...

I've been guilty of the last one in my day HA HA HA
donna In TEXAS