Sunday, June 25, 2006

Shootin' Six

Patrick's Saturday Six is located at his Weekender place.
I'll do a link eventually.

1. You are given a "remote control" that involves life itself. Of these functions, which would you think you'd make the most use of: fast-forward, rewind, or pause?

Rewind.  Forty years.  Duh.

2. If you could use a "change channel" button to become a totally different person, would you do so?

YES. Walking in someone else's shoes would be intriguing. Assuming my options did not include the Elephant Man, the Bearded Lady, any transgender types, or Monica Lewinsky.    

3. Do you own a gun? If not, what would it take for you to purchase one?

I do not own a gun. I will never own a gun. I'm scary enough without a gun. With a gun, I could kill someone.

On the other hand, I've mentioned before that I seem to have a knack for hitting bullseyes with those air rifles used at kids' camps. I'm also near perfect at the shooting galleries at Great America. Perhaps I was a sniper in a former life.

I was once engaged to a medical student whose family restored antique weapons. One day he wanted me to shoot a pistol at some cans. So I could get used to firing guns. People who own guns always want people who don't like guns to do stuff like that. No thank you. He married someone else. Even though he was a doctor, he continued his family's lucrative hobby of restoring antique weaponry. A few years ago his wife was found accidentally shot through the heart out on their shooting range.  

That could have been me.

Another time I went with a guy I know into a gun shop not too far from where I live. I was amazed that there was a place with so much firepower in the middle of my suburban existence. I have never felt a greater sense of malevolence in my entire life. Gun anime is evil. I'll let law enforcement and the military deal with it.

Okay, I could get a taser maybe.  But only for frying bugs -- thanks for the idea, Remo.  

4. Take the quiz:  What piercing are you?

I'm not a piercing person. Anytime I see someone with a pieced nose, eyebrow, lip, tongue, navel, penis, labia, anything but their ears -- although seventeen ear piercings is a bit much -- I just assume they are in too much psychic pain to function on all cylinders. So I treat them with the deference I reserve for small children and serial killers.

Even mainstream and very socially acceptable ear piercings don't interest me, although I have thought about them from time to time, for the convenience of it. Especially since it isn't just gypsies who do that sort of thing anymore.

So, as you might expect, I took the test only to discover that I'm so "boring" according to the testers that I would only rate an ear piercing.  Haaaaaa. I already knew THAT.

5. Would you ever get a piercing described in your answer to the previous question?

Ears?  It could happen.  I might be on shore leave some time, get drunk and end up at Claire's with my buddies.

6. Do you tend to visit friends and relatives at their homes more or have them visit you in your home more?

Since my friends and a number of relatives live in swank places like Hawaii, Malibu, Montana, San Diego, Georgetown, London, Paris, Door County, San Antonio, and Ireland, to name a few destinations, and own houses that are substantially bigger than mine, chances of them having me come to visit are greater than the other way around.  And that's just one reason to let them entertain me. However, the Fourth of July is always a great time of the year to come to Chicago.


sunnyside46 said...

That is a good explanation of weird peircings. I wish I'd said know I will!

swibirun said...

I've never asked you to go shooting, so quit telling stories.  Actually, I've never taken a non shooter with me, other than Alexis and Brett when they were first learning.  If someone doesn't shoot, I'd rather not teach them or try to persuade them.  It's their choice.  I feel safer on my own, not having to worry about what a novice may be doing on the firing line.

You have seen a pierced penis??????  NU UH!!!!

I've never seen a pierced penis,
and never hope to see one.
But I can tell you here and know
I'd rather see than be one!



elleme2 said...

I've been looking for the rewind button for the last ten years.  Can't seem to find it no matter how desparately I look.  As for piercings, I've never understood people who put holes in their bodies just to display jewelry.  Strikes me as primeval.