Thursday, November 19, 2009

Beware of Men with Hairy Faces

Mrs. Linklater has a theory about men who choose to wear beards and mustaches -- they have something to hide.

Unless he's Amish, or he has been requested to grow a beard or a mustache by his significant other, or shaving causes problems with his skin, a guy who chooses to wear hair on his face is keeping a secret.

It could be a personal secret, like something emotionally devastating that happened to him. Those guys tend to wear full beards and have long hair -- like say, ZZ TOP. [I wonder what's going on there?]

Or it could be an evil secret, one that could get him arrested, like addiction, pedophilia, murder, you get the idea.

Which brings me to the police photos above. These men are all members of the same family. Here's what they've been charged with:

. . . the Mohler family were charged. . . with several felonies, including forcible sodomy, rape with a child younger than 12 and use of a child in a sexual performance.

All but one of these All-Americans has a hairy face. Four of them have almost identical beards. One has a goofy mustache [goofy is always a red flag for guys who are bent, particularly a pedophile, in Mrs. Linklater's opinion].  For all we know, the sixth, hair-free guy may have just shaved his beard off as a disguise. Kidding.  Just because a guy doesn't have a beard doesn't mean he doesn't have secrets. 

But, you have to admit, five out of six beards is a very high percentage, relative to their proclivities.

This isn't Mrs. L's first foray into the world of wonder about men with hairy faces. She has always had questions about Dr. Phil's mustache. As much as she likes what he does on his show, she often contemplated what his secret could be. She even left a note at his website asking what he was hiding. She also asked him to shave it off, since he actually looks better without it, based on photos he has shown on his program. Turns out his father was an alcoholic, something he revealed later rather than earlier in his career. And he was married to someone else before he hooked up with Robin. The ex-Mrs. Phil outed him a few years ago.

So, that's Mrs. Linklater's opinion of the moment. Brought to you as a public service.

You're welcome.


Donna said...

Can you believe those creeps did their dirty deeds less than fifteen miles from where I live?

Anne said...

I am in shock over all of the crimes that have been committed by these assholes. Donna is right, they live close to her and too close to me. The tip of the iceberg has only been exposed with these guys. Anne

Remo said...

You'll get no quarrel from this corner. I also maintain a similar position about why so many Vietnam Vet's have excessive facial hair.

My ex mother-in-laws have no such rationalization.

Chris said...

My Aunt Bertha has a mustache. I wonder what she's been up to. She always did seem a little flakey.

Mrs. L said...

Memo to people who have tried to leave a comment that is stupid, misspelled or just ignorant -- your bonehead thoughts have to get by me first and I can make sure they never see the light of day.