Sunday, November 22, 2009

Auntie Grandma's Bragging Rights

Have I mentioned that I have a five year old niece? Well, let me do it again. I have a five year old niece. She is brilliant, of course, but also very sweet, thoughtful, considerate, and gracious, a number of attributes not often seen in her Auntie Grandma [Mrs. Linklater, in case you were drawing a blank.] But I figure there's still time to toughen her up.  

Meanwhile, her proud father [and by extension, his equally proud half-sister] sent these recent photos of the world's most wonderful little girl and her latest accomplishments. I mention that he's my half-bro because we have the same father, but different mothers, so you know whose DNA we point the fickle finger of fate at for our everlasting cynicism. 

I offer the top photo as proof of this precious child's mastery of those annoying puzzles that always seem to be missing a piece. She put the damn thing together by herself, so she has already surpassed the abilities of one of her older relatives, who shall remain nameless.

You'll notice from the illustration on the face of the puzzle that she likes princesses. Especially for Halloween. And, I'm happy to report, this year her doting dad made sure she had the best princess costume ever for Trick or Treat night. [Third world seamstresses were working on the embroidery night and day -- I am not kidding.] I don't think her tiara was from Tiffany's, but one never knows. 

He learned his lesson after he thought she would look so cute in a Northwestern University cheerleader's outfit the year before. And insisted that she would like wearing it. Look it's purple!! Your dad and Auntie Grandma both went to NU, isn't that great? "NO!" Needless to say, he made her wear it. To let him know what she thought of his cockamammy idea, she refused to march in the Happy Halloween parade at school. "I want to be a PRINCESS!"  Yeah. C'mon, Dad!! But he redeemed himself this time around. 

Besides the clear evidence of her remarkable skills at spatial recognition [a future architect? engineer? the next Matisse?] I offer two eyewitness water photos as proof of her superior aquatic skills. Brag brag brag brag brag. Not only can she navigate the length of the pool on her front, doing the crawl, but on her back, as well, although I can't tell which one of the regulation strokes she has chosen for this demonstration. I can't wait to be on TV when she competes in the 6 and under Olympics. You'll see me blubbering in the stands, during the national anthem, wearing one of my elastic waistband outfits from Chico's, just like Michael Phelps' mother.  

Hey, Annie, you're the best!!!  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!  *KISS* *KISS* Let's do lunch!

Love 'n' hugs,
Auntie Grandma


Remo said...

I think she'd swim faster if they bought her a swimsuit instead of making her swim in that cheer outfit.

Chris said...

Dammit you stole my Michael Phelps comment I was already working on as I read. Stop doing that!