I didn't tell you I was pregnant. Because that would have been so funny, I couldn't finish this entry.
My sister-in-law had this darling baby, Ann Marie, not too many weeks ago. I think it only took her an agonizing three days before somebody finally said, maybe we should do a c-section.
Isn't she just a cutsey wootsy cuddle wuddle, though? With such a sweetums poopsie smile! I posted another picture of her when she was born. I'd give you the link, but, being Mrs. Linklater, I don't feel like tracking down the entry right now.
I haven't had a chance to see her in person yet, because I am so self-absorbed, I just haven't bothered. Since she lives on the right coast and I live on the edge of the middlecoast, it's not like I can just drop in and change a diaper.
But I'm sure I'll get there before thumbsucking, potty training, crying for no reason, and foot stomping are over. Meanwhile I can just send movies of myself doing aunty-like things such as bleaching my roots and removing that annoying hair from my upper lip.
This warm and fuzzy picture is just one of 7000 that my little brother Dave has taken of Annie Fannie during her first two months. A thoughtful bro, he only sent me the best 487, an admirable amount of restraint for a new father, I think.
She's so brand new I got to thinking about how much she's going to morph as she grows up. From a tiny baby, mewling and puking in her mother's arms [hey Shakespeare wrote that, NOT me] to something that not only eats, sleeps, peeps and poops, but throws food and tantrums. Then starts with the whining. And finally gets pimples, gets pregnant and gets put on probation. Ah, the joys of childhood.
Since both her parents are attorneys, it will be up to me to save her from a life of torts and courts. With my persuasive skills, she'll learn the wonders of a career in professional wrestling. Or perhaps delivering phone books. It's seasonal, but it pays.
[Meanwhile, I"m saving Remo's journal for bedtime stories and Albert's pictures for fashion tips.]
I can hardly wait to purchase Annie's first webcam for her twelvth birthday. And show her how to hang it so no one can see it.
Oh, thank you Auntie Mrs. Linklater -- you shouldn't have!
There's so much I can offer to that lucky kid. Hey, I raised my own children, didn't I!