On the Road

Mrs. L went on a stroll through J-land. What the heck, it's raining and my hair frizzes, so I'm indoors today. Besides, the next three days I will be working for sixteen hours at a crack observing "respondents" in focus groups, so I'm trying to store up energy by sleeping a lot ahead of time.

I bet most of you had no idea that marketing and advertising could be so strenuous. We earn our money, I'll have you know. 

For instance, I practice for the groups by eating large bowls of M&M peanuts, drinking a couple of cases of soda pop and throwing the cans across the room into a waste basket.

I also practice laughing quietly at the things people say, while simultaneously sitting behind a one-way mirror and taking notes in the dark. Ya gotta stay in shape.

So on my journey through J-land, my respite before I have to actually start working this week, I visited some new journals, read a bunch of entries in each one, left a well-written, thoughtful, almost poetic comment, if something struck me, then clicked on one of the Other Journals listed and moved on. Kind of like Johnny Appleseed. Ah, what a wonderful way to spend the afternoon!

This all went pretty smoothly for the most part, although a couple of folks didn't have Other Journals listed so I had to backtrack.  I accidentally went to some journals I forgot I knew a couple of times, because I hadn't been there for a bit and didn't remember their names.

The surprising part was that most of the journals I visited turned out to be journals of the boy kind.  Not that I'm trolling, okay? I'd rather do that in my car, leaning out the window and shouting to guys on the street.  They really like that. Especially when it's a woman over fifty.

Anyway, it occurred to me that maybe there aren't as many girl journals as I thought in J-land.  Phew. Nothing against women, but it's nice to have balance. Heterosexual and Gay. Balance.

My fave of the day was Moondawg or Mr. Moondawg as I like to call him. I actually used to visit his place, but lost track of him a long time ago and didn't even remember his unusual name. So it was a nice surprise to find him again.

The Dawg is a Jerry Garcia reincarnation. Separated at birth perhaps? Or maybe he really IS Jerry. No one ever saw them together, did they?  

Anyway, you'll see the well-coiffed beard, the aviator glasses, the big smile. But, I'm sure the Dawg doesn't wear Jerry's ties. 

Moondawg is one of several J-Land long haul truckers who share their incredible stories of life on the road. But it wasn't his hauling ass through the heartland that got me.

Nope, it was his recipes. Yep, the Dawg had some great recipes posted that I thought were too good not to share. Real quality trucker coozeen.  

So, here's Mrs. Linklater sharing Moondawg's tasty menu [she thinks his directions are suitable for framing]:

 

Jerry or Moondawg? You be the judge.

 

Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich  
*********************************  
3 jars peanut butter  
2 loaves light bread  
1 bunch bananas  
2 pounds margarine, melted  

Mix soft peanut butter and mashed banana together. Stick  
right hand in peanut mixture, lick fingers clean.  Begin  
toasting bread lightly.  Dunk toast in pan of melted  
margarine, then drink half of remaining melted margarine.  
Stick left hand in peanut butter mixture, spreading peanut  
butter and mashed bananas on toast.  Place sandwiches into  
melted margarine; brown on both sides. Drink any remaining  
melted margarine, belch, and break into resounding chorus  
of "Love Me Tender".  


Ham Bone Dumplings  
******************  
1 large ham bone or leftover ham  
2 quarts water  
salt and pepper  
A whole messof dumplings  
2 1/2 cups flour  
1 teaspoon salt  
2 cans Crisco shortening  
1 cup cold water  

Simmer ham bone in water for 15 to 20 minutes. Season with  
salt and pepper.  If ya feel like it, take a bite out of  
the chunk a ham bone.  Combine dumpling ingredients to  
make dough.  Add more flour if needed to make dough easy  
to handle.  Taste dough--if ya feel like eatin' raw dumplin'  
dough, go for it.  Place whatever dough remains on floured  
board and roll very thin. Cut dough into small pieces and  
drop into pot with ham. Cook about 20 - 25 minutes more.  


Baked Apple And Sweet Potato Pudding  
************************************  
4 large sweet potatoes  
3 medium apples  
1 cup water  
2 cups brown sugar  
2 jars ground cinnamon  
2 apple pies  
2 pounds butter -- melted  
2 bottles vanilla  
4 boxes graham cracker crumbs  

Wash and peel sweet potatoes and apples. Cut into slices.  
Put some slice on fingers, lick off.  Cover bottom of pan  
with graham cracker crumbs. Lay hands in pan, lick off  
whatever sticks to hands.  Layer potatoes and apples in  
dish.  Mix brown sugar with water and pour over each layer.  
Grab apple pie, shove down throat quickly.  Season each  
layer of potatoes and apples with cinnamon, butter, and  
flavoring.  Dip face in mixture, use tongue to lick face  
as clean as possible.  Then, spread a few graham cracker  
crumbs over the top. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.  
To make time pass more quickly, have four peanut butter  
and banana sandwiches with a diet Coke.  Letpudding stand  
for 4 or 5 minutes, then serve.