Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Ask Mrs. Linklater MILF Edition

It's that time of the month, when Mrs. Linklater sticks her nose into someone else's business. Without being asked.  What?  You think she's going to apologize? 

 

ASK AMY -- The Chicago Tribune, March 1, 2005

Dear Amy: I am divorced. My daughter is a company representative and travels for her job.

Last October, when my daughter was seven months pregnant, her husband confided in me that they had not had "relations" in over a month, and weren't going to until six weeks after the baby was born.

We were both under the influence of alcohol and things got out of hand. He convinced me that he needed loving. I'm ashamed to say I was more than willing to give it, and this happened numerous times during her pregnancy. I told him he wasn't allowed any more "support" from me once the baby came.

Last week my daughter went to a sales show out of state and he came to me again. At first I didn't want to allow this, but I convinced myself that if it weren't me he was with, it would be someone else.

He only asks when she is unavailable. Am I just justifying this, or should I take it more seriously? And please don't suggest counseling for them -- they love each other.

-- Confused in L.A.

Dear Confused: You're the one who needs to have her head examined, I'm afraid. I'm not sure how you expect me to react to your stupidity, except to tell you to stop it. Of course I feel very sorry for your daughter. She's related to two selfish people who don't seem to respect or care about her.

Because you and your son-in-law are sexually involved, you are exposing one another -- and your daughter -- to sexually transmitted diseases. You and your son-in-law are being despicable. What's worse is that there is now a child in your family who deserves so much better than to be born into an episode of "The Jerry Springer Show."

Please.  Don't make Mrs. Linklater choke on her tall de-caf mocha Frappuccino with a shot of almond.

Sounds like son-in-law was looking for a MILF and decided to choose the one closest to his house. I smell Deliverance. Start the banjo music.

[Don't know what a MILF is?  Ask a teenaged boy.]

Here is Mrs. Linklater's advice to the mother who can't seem to stop herself from having sex with her daughter's husband:

Take a nice hot bath. Light some scented candles, if you want. Put on your sexiest lingerie. Your newest shoes. Your best outfit. And do your hair.

Now. Go play in traffic. 

Thank you.  I'm here all week.

 


 

10 comments:

tdain2003 said...

LOL! You got it right.
Tracy

salemslot9 said...

el sicko

pollysci said...

For once, Amy got it right...well, partially.  

But we all know what this means in the Jerry Springer cycle:  now the wife gets to have sex with her husband's father and have a baby by his best friend/cousin three times removed by restraining order.


~tara :)

somenuttychic said...

Oh. My. God.

You both got it right.

Wow. I feel so sorry for that pregnant woman.  

swmpgrly said...

Whats up with that? What is she nuts?...lol I cant even begin to tell you where that sends my pulse rising....SICK...He will be after his own child in a couple of years.

screaminremo303 said...

What I don't get is if the husband is having sex with the MIL, but not having sex with his wife, and the MIL is only having sex with the husband, where the hell does the STD come from? WalMart?

Yet another reason to drive through Arkansas just to miss being in Illinois.

robbush6 said...

OMG! You are so damn funny. Love the Frappuccino. I'll take mine fully loaded.

Dave, I heard that.

bosoxblue6993w said...

De-Caf Mocha Frappuccino ... with a shot of almond?   THAT kinda puts my black coffee, Hostess TWINKEE and cigarette to shame.

cneinhorn said...

oh my!

judithheartsong said...

ewwww and amen to that Mrs. L.... I'll be glad to give her a shove.... I mean a hand. judi