I don't know about you, but I thought Chris Rock's hosting of the Academy Awards wasn't as funny as I knew he could make it. I tend to fall down laughing when he's on. So here's some stuff from Andy Borowitz' daily newsletter, the Borowitz report. Belfastcowboy75 introduced me to him after Dave Barry went on hiatus. Here's his web site address [not a link]: Andy@borowitzreport.com
Former baseball slugger Jose Canseco issued his most shocking steroid revelation to date, claiming that he injected correspondent Mike Wallace during his appearance on "60 Minutes" last week.
In response to secretly recorded conversations in which he advocated tolerance towards homosexuals, President Bush said today, "I must've been high when I said that."
President Bush announced that Iraq's national motto will be, "Come for the weapons of mass destruction, stay for the democracy."
In an effort to "confuse the insurgents," President Bush said the U.S. will begin airdropping copies of his Social Security plan over Iraq
In a series of public service spots, President Bush will be seen speaking at a press conference, after which an announcer will say, "This is your brain on drugs."