Thursday, July 7, 2005

Who Knew?

I have watched Exteme Makeover with ghoulish relish.  I am fascinated that people are willing to stand there in their skivvies for the before and after. EEWWWW.

I'm also astonished at the kind of pain people are willing to put up with to be more physically attractive.  Their psychic pain must be so great that being carved up doesn't faze them by comparison.

Not that Mrs. Linklater hasn't thought about a few lifts herself. But for humanitarian reasons alone. 

All that surgery on the outside so they can feel better about their looks on the inside. And, let's not forget, so they can also be more appealing to members of whatever sex they want to attract. Otherwise, what's the point?

But I noticed there's one feature that never gets worked on. Probably because, for the most part, it isn't something you can slice or dice and improve.

I'm talking about their voices.

All the obvious things that you can retool to make a person more attractive -- bigger, smaller, higher and lower breasts, shorter, straighter noses, bigger or smaller lips and hips, higher or lower cheeks, higher or lower or wider eyes, the elimination of stretch marks or a big stomach, bigger or smaller butts, better hairdos, more glamorous makeup, ad nauseum -- all these things may not matter as much as your voice.

Oh, Mrs. Linklater you're off on a tangent again.

Well, sure, it wouldn't be me if I weren't.

Over the years Mrs. Linklater, being the nosy babe that she is, has asked husbands what initially attracted them to their wives.  Andmore than fifty per cent of the guys have said "her voice." [Mrs. L carries a clipboard with her to keep track of these things]

Her voice?  Wow.  Before all those other things, huh? Sure those other things count.  But you have to start somewhere.  And this was unexpected.

One guy I know said he met his wife when she was working as a waitress during her summer break from college.  He was looking at his menu and her voice is what got his attention first.  She pointed out something on the menu and suggested he try it.

The melodious sound of what she said made him look up and he was not disappointed.  To this day he still loves to listen to her talk. Rare for a married man.

We often chat with our blind dates on the phone before going out. Well, people who still do those things. Mrs. L doesn't think we give our phone voices much thought these days, if we ever did. We sound like what we sound like.  But, you never know what effect you might be having. Good or bad. Do you sound like a 900 number or a 911 emergency?    

"She sounded so nice on the phone," was almost a mantra from a bunch of guys when they talked about what first attracted them to their wives. And the rest wasn't bad either.

Besides their speaking voices, some women have wonderful laughs.  Charming chuckles if you will.

Mrs. Linklater has run the gamut.  She has a raucous laugh which has been downloaded and electronically enhanced by her boyfriend's husband [SHE MEANS GIRLFRIEND's HUSBAND] who thinks she sounds like an animal in pain and wanted to capture the noise for posterity.

On other occasions she has received offers way above and beyond the usual -- like the Free HBO and Cinemax deals offered by the cable company phone representative, who, in a moment of generosity also threw in hisage, height, hair color and home phone number.

And there was that one phone call to order something for a health club Mrs. L worked for that resulted in an invitation far exceeding anything she found in their full color catalog.

Because of this voice thing, Mrs. Linklater was a little apprehensive about using AOLbyPhone to leave an audio entry. Mainly because she was concerned about the sound of her laugh frightening small dogs and children. But she was enamored with the audio technology, which would allow her to make a journal entry without using her hands, not to mention the appeal it had to her natural laziness. So she overcame whatever reticence she might have felt and just jumped right in.

So, what was the very first thing that got your attention when you met your spouse or significant other?  Mrs. L was struck by her former husband's hands. For a guy in a profession that doesn't lift more than pencils and briefcases, he sure had strong ones. Nice and masculine. Not sissy soft girly boy fingers.

Shut up with the jokes.  I'm trying to be serious and scientific here.

You people are impossible.    


robbush6 said...

First, his intelligence and wit. Next, his character. Then, his voice. But when I finally met him in person, his smell. Why do they have to smell so good? I don't know about the science of it all, but call it animal magnetism. It just makes me insane. This time, in a good way. We ARE impossible.

jevanslink said...

"Boyfriend's husband" -- yes I wrote that. It's dark in here. I meant girlfriend's husband. Now let's analyze that Freudian slip.  Oh, give it a rest.  Mrs. L

robbush6 said...

If your boyfriend has a husband, I just figured it was some "understanding" or some liberal feel-good arrangement you'd made. Now there's a ghoulish makeover.

emmapeeldallas said...

You know my ex, so you'll understand was his legs.  He's tttaaaalllll (6'5") and he has these lllloooonnnngggg legs...and I was behind him one day, and saw him walking down a hall in a pin-striped suit, and his legs looked to be about as long as I am tall (5'3") and I just thought, wow...

p.s. - he still has good legs


salemslot9 said...

I know what you mean
"hands" down :)

sistercdr said...

What attracted me to my husband first was that he really listened to me.  At first, I thought his looks were a little goofy, but his actually caring about what I thought...well, wow.  He said what attracted him to me was my laugh.  He heard me before he saw me.

screaminremo303 said...

I was smitten with Ms. Lovely's smile in the first five seconds. She's an oboe player, you know. Tight corners and all that. She also has the thighs of a Romanian gymnast and is quite capable of cracking walnuts between her knees.

Yes, I said that.

mosie1944 said...

What attracted me to my husband was the way he treated me, as though I was special and beautiful.  And he still treats me the same way.

swmpgrly said...

I was attracted to my hubby because he has the most beautiful eyes i have ever seen,even after 18 yrs.

shaz19743 said...

It was the eyes .....huge blue and bright as azure globes .....depth that drew you in till you learnt all the secrets they held . Then there was the smile beneath .....kind , comforting, infectious .....the voice that came out from those lips is always on the answer machine in my head x

gaboatman said...

When I first saw my future wife, she took my breath away.  I passed her in a hallway where I worked at the time.  She worked in an office one floor up.  There was no one feature, it was the total package.  I found out she was a nice as she was pretty and the rest is history.

belfastcowboy75 said...

I was once fazed by an unmelodious voice, but it was just a phase.

bosoxblue6993w said...

her cleavage ... er ... i mean, ... her syntax

robbush6 said...

Sox fans and their affinity for good "syntax," for the love of Pete! Next he's gonna say she has good "diction" too.

judithheartsong said...

I can still remember watching Virginia in a high school classroom as she passed out papers. She was a good kid, I was a not-so-good kid (funny with a dad who was superintendent). I remember what she was wearing and can still describe it. The first thing that caught my attention was her delicate mouth...... it still charms me to this day. Oh, and she had a brain the size of Texas:) judi

suzypwr said...

I like all the nice trappings, but without the brain, they are useless.

mombzbe said...

Before I go on, I have to say I totally agree--I am also fascinated that people would stand in their skivvies and be photographed for the before and after.  Oh, so NOT good!

As for attraction, when I first met Mr W, I noticed his eyes.  Beautiful, blue-green-grey eyes.  Then I noticed the full lower lip.
Not that I'd kissed anyone at that point, but I had to wonder...

But what really intrigued and attracted me were his manners.  (Believe it.)  He was escorting my friend and I to her father's car, and I was walking in heels, and lost my balance.  And unlike most teenage clods, who would've kept on walking and let me twist my ankle into oblivion, he automatically held out his arm for me to grab as he steadied me with his other hand (which he place at a very respectful place on my back, not too high, nor too low, lol).  It was a graceful, natural thing for him, and it also made me a good way.
Wow.  It was the equivalent of spreading his coat over a puddle for me, and the rest is history.