Friday, September 23, 2005

Mrs. Linklater's Alternative J-Land Awards

Oh, so you think Mrs. Linklater wouldn't have an opinion on this?  She has an opinion on everything. It's just that sometimes she spares you.

Funniest Damn Mommy Award -- To the mother who can still smile through all the crap

Ye Olde Philosopher Award --  To the person who can count the angels on the head of a pin and keep your attention

Most Likely To Be TOSed Award -- To that special someone who walks along the edge of greatness down a slippery slope to AOL jailtime.

The Biggest Bullshooter Award -- This can be a good thing or a slap upside the head thing.

The Take My Life And Shove It
Award -- To the person who wallows the best in the awfulness of his or her existence

The Person I'd Most Like to Meet Award -- Because they're weird, wonderful, wild or you wish you could wed them -- this one is wide open

The Couple Most Likely To Play Out Their Entire Relationship In Front of J-Land Award -- Mrs. Linklater thinks this one is already taken

The Best J-Land Journal To Suggest What AOL Can Do With Itself Award -- In case you have been living under the bed for the past two years, life in J-Land hasn't always been a lovefest, ya know?

The Journal Most In Need Of Medication -- when the symptoms take up more space than the words, we have a winner

From Robbush6, more than a couple of fine suggestions:

i refuse to use capital letters award -- Mrs. L hopes she doesn't have to explain this one

My Life In The Third Person Award -- Mrs. Linklater wonders who in the world might be eligible for this?

The Pencils Down Award -- for the J-Lander who has quit the most

From meforevermore:

The Train Wreck Award -- for the journal you just can't stop reading but you don't know why

You're So Vain Award -- Mrs. L fears she may qualify for this one

From Remo:

The Best Living Through Prescription Pharmaceuticals Award -- How could Mrs. L have left this one off the list? Her mind is spinning with possible nominees.

From sieblonde:

The What the Fook Are You Talking About? Award
-- To the journal that makes you ask "Huh?" when you read it because even though it uses words, they aren't saying anything.

Mrs. Linklater has the feeling she's just getting started here.  Feel free to add your own awards.  She's an equal opportunity thief of good ideas.


robbush6 said...

Please, stop sparing us and tell us what you really think. You've already picked the winners, haven't you? How about the "I Refuse to Use Capital Letters" or the "My Life In Third Person" awards?

jevanslink said...

Thank you Ms. Robbush6, we have received your suggestions and are processing them now.  And ho, I mean NO, how could you think that Mrs. Linklater would have already decided the winners.  She is shocked.  And so am I.  Mrs. L

globetrotter2u said...

how about:
The Most Mastubated Journal Award?- For the journalist that hits their own counter button over and over...

or the
Take Your Comments and Shove 'em up the place Where the Light Forgets to Shine Award- For the most politically unrighteous journal.

I really think there should be a
How F---king Jaded Do you think I am Award? For journalists like me who've dropped out of society and now they just spend there time leaving idiotic comments like this one.

jevanslink said...

Well, Maryanne, at least you gave me another idea for an AWARD. Although it's not one you suggested.   Hope you're feeling better soon.  Mrs. L

meforevermore said...

You forgot "Journal That Needs To ST*U Award" lol There's a few I've run across worthy of such a title lol It goes beyond normal ranting and into freakish obsession lol

Then there's the "You're So Vain Award" (do I need to explain that? lol) and "So Ugly It's Cute Award" or the "Train Wreck Award" for the journals that you can't stop reading but you don't know why lol

Love your suggestions lol We should have something like this. Just for laughs lol


robbush6 said...

How about the award "Pencils Down" award for the journaller who's "quit" the most? I've always said it: we need more drama and we need more contests around here.

vagabondevermore said...

Damn, I love you.  I love something that can speak their mind.  We really should honor journals that you have mentioned above.  I more likely fit into one of your categories.



swibirun said...

Loved your categories!  You're a riot!  

How about:
"I wanna be a gansta" award for the journal that makes complete entries out of colloquialisms, yaknowwhati'm saying, G?  Coz I can lay down the 411.


sunnyside46 said...

oh, what fun this all is! I love it here!

sieblonde said...

I think there should be an award for the Journal that makes you say "HUH?!"  You know, the journal where you know you just read some words, but you're not quiiiite sure what the 'f' they were talking about.   .... Or is it just me?  ~Sie

screaminremo303 said...

I don't think I can post mine here, but how about Best Living Through Prescription Pharmacuticals?

artloner said...

 "And ho, I mean NO, how could you think that Mrs. Linklater would have already decided the winners."

Methinks she doth protest too much!


robbush6 said...

Oooh! How about "Best Mid-Life Crisis Played out in Anecdotal Form?"

psychfun said...

How about the most pathetic hubbie journal award, Goofiest Kid journal award, The Tammy Faye (aweful color schemes!)