Thursday, June 8, 2006


One of my brothers took time out from his busy job making the world safe for attorneys to email me this important document from the Dictrict Court in Orlando, Florida. I pass it along as a public service.

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). 

Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. 

Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit:  at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties.  If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. 

Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness.  At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.”  The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during theperiod July 11-12, 2006. 

If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.  DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.

And you thought paying some lawyer $1500 an hour wasn't worth it.


screaminremo303 said...

Can't they just meet at Hooter's like all the other lawyers?

elleme2 said...

"I laugh so that I will not cry."

suzypwr said...

For $1500 an hour, you might as well get a sense of humor, too.


mombzbe said...

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.  We use the time-honored method of "rock, paper, scissors" to settle all kinds of issues.  From really minor ones, like what's for dinner, to the important ones, like who's changing the catbox.

I'm the champ.

hewasolddog299 said...

Priceless. I dare one of them to appeal ... dueling pistols at 10 paces will be next!

swibirun said...

What a complete waste of time.  They should recall that judge.

Any reasonable judge would have had them declare a thumb war.