According to my impeccable source, Montana is being overrun by people with too much money.
How much is too much?
Three words: monogrammed toilet paper.
Three more words: multiple helicopter pads.
Not that these folks aren't neighborly. Although when you've got over
100,000 acres how close could your neighbors be? They've invited all
ranchers to a party to say howdy. To show how hospitable they can be,
plans were made to order plenty of wine from a local distributor.
They're all about supporting the economy.
Two words: longneck beer. That led to changing the order for wine to making an order for dozens of pilsner glasses.
One word: glasses?
No porta potties will be harmed in the hosting of this event. Instead there will be an air
conditioned trailer with running water and monogrammed toilet paper. Not so much
for the local guests -- most of them would just pee where they landed. It's
probably for the important friends of the rich folks who're flying in from out of
None of the out of towners likes to let their feet touch the ground.
They don't do interstate highways. Only helicopter pads. So you
wouldn't expect them to poop and peep like the rest of us either. These
are people who can hire people to wipe their butts. Have I mentioned
the monogrammed toilet paper?
There will be valet parkers no doubt. A new experience for all the pick
ups and Outback station wagons that'll be arriving. Wait till they find
out they have to give their car keys to a stranger.
And then there will be intermingling of the species. Shitkickers and
city slickers trying to make nice together. That ought to be good
for a couple of laughs.
I'm still dealing with the monogrammed toilet paper. There's a kiss my ass joke in there somewhere.