Insidious Excess

According to my impeccable source, Montana is being overrun by people with too much money.

How much is too much?

Three words:  monogrammed toilet paper.

Three more words:  multiple helicopter pads.

Not that these folks aren't neighborly. Although when you've got over 100,000 acres how close could your neighbors be? They've invited all the local ranchers to a party to say howdy. To show how hospitable they can be, plans were made to order plenty of wine from a local distributor. They're all about supporting the economy.

Two words: longneck beer. That led to changing the order for wine to making an order for dozens of pilsner glasses.

One word:  glasses?

No porta potties will be harmed in the hosting of this event. Instead there will be an air conditioned trailer with running water and monogrammed toilet paper. Not so much for the local guests -- most of them would just pee where they landed. It's probably for the important friends of the rich folks who're flying in from out of state.

None of the out of towners likes to let their feet touch the ground. They don't do interstate highways. Only helicopter pads. So you wouldn't expect them to poop and peep like the rest of us either. These are people who can hire people to wipe their butts. Have I mentioned the monogrammed toilet paper?

There will be valet parkers no doubt. A new experience for all the pick ups and Outback station wagons that'll be arriving. Wait till they find out they have to give their car keys to a stranger.

And then there will be intermingling of the species. Shitkickers and city slickers trying to make nice together.  That ought to be good for a couple of laughs.

I'm still dealing with the monogrammed toilet paper. There's a kiss my ass joke in there somewhere.