Wednesday, November 22, 2006

There's a Who in My What?

This story could reach the TMI saturation point in a heartbeat, so let's see if I can just tell part of it.

Last night I went to use the bathroom. Before sitting down I got a view of the contents, as we all do unless we go to the toilet with our eyes closed. 

There was something floating in the water. Ewwwww. It was a mouse. I was in denial, so I looked at it more closely. Yep.  Mouse. Dead. Drowned apparently. 

Has it been swimming in the toilet when I go to bed at night? How did it get in there anyway? Did it dive off the sink? Where was its towel? Okay enough with the jocularity, How the heck was I going to get the dead mouse out of the toilet so I could use it for the purpose intended. There was a small window of opportunity before I peed in my pants.

Hmmm. If I used a spoon to lift it out, I could never use that spoon for anything else ever again and I'd have to throw it away. So I got a huge garbage bag and opened it up. Then I wadded up a huge blob of teepee and grabbed the mouse by the tail -- ewwww --- and I gingerly carried it to the bag holding it as far away from myself as I could, and put it in. Then I ran back to the toilet because I was out of time, if you catch my drift.

The only thing I remember about mice is that if you see one, that means there are thousands more. So I went out this morning and bought ten very expensive mousetraps. The kind that kill the mice after enticing them to taste the delicious peanut butter I put out for them inside a black plastic box. Afterward all you see is their tail sticking out the back. None of this dead body in public stuff. My kind of trap.

Oh look, you can release the spring, open the front and drop the mouse directly into the garbage and re-use the trap. The directions with accompanying pictures are printed right there on the side of the box. Like that's going to happen. I'm tossing every trap that has a mouse. They're all set out. Here mousey mousey.

When I get home today I'm afraid of how many I'll find.  And how much this is going to cost me in peanut butter and traps.

Going to the bathroom will never be the same. 


screaminremo303 said...

I don't even know where to start.

mosie1944 said...

Couldn't you have just flushed it?  I have flushed MUCH bigger things than a mouse.  

hewasolddog299 said...

And you didn't just push down on the flush lever/button/handle why? Trust me, I deposit turds bigger than a rat on bad days... They all go down with a little help from the friendly plunger parked beside the loo.

So long as you haven't got cats, ferrets or dogs, poison the little suckers! DCON to the rescue. Or do what I do -- feed a dozen feral cats outside and two lazy bastards inside...
(I know - way more than you wanted to know, LOL)

ksquester said...

I can't believe you didn't flush the little bastard down the toilet..........think I am leaving the light on tonight!    Anne

ladeeoftheworld said...

Poor little mouse.  They make mouse friendly traps that capture the creature safely then you can release them far from your home.  Just a thought.  Mice really are kind of cute.

swibirun said...

You should tear those instructions off.....mice can read in 5 different languages.  They are quite smart.  They just can't figure out those damned laboratory mazes.

mombzbe said...

Thank you for the chill that just ran up my spine.  Blech!

lanurseprn said...

EEEwwwww!!!  I know that my instant reaction would have been to flush.  Was it too big?  I'm just curious.  
We had mice once 20 years ago.  I hated it!!  We used those horrible traps that the mice run across and get stuck.  It doesn't kill them.  That comes later...UGH!  Then, you get up in the morning hearing "Screech Screech!"  AWFUL!
Never again. Next time I'm calling a pest control man!
Good luck!

jevanslink said...

I've always had a rule about flushing tampons down the toilet.  They clog things up.  The last thing I wanted was a tampon sized animal getting stuck down there.  

Mrs. L

suzypwr said...

Why not stick your hand inside the plastic bag and grab it, then turn the bag inside out and seal it? That is how I have to pick up dog poops. It get easier after about the thousandth time. I probably would have flushed the mouse, but I can use a plunger, just in case.

Sounds like time to get a cat, or borrow one for a while! Good luck. Have you cleaned out your pantry lately?


salemslot9 said...

I don't flush tampons, either

sdoscher458 said...

At least it wasn't a snake.  Ever since reading that story years ago I always look in the bowl before I do anything...I probably would of freaked seeing the mouse. Maybe a little kitty might be a good thing...Sandi