Monday, March 19, 2007

Mrs. Linklater's NCAA Prognostications

People wonder how I do what I do during March Madness. Mrs. Linklater, how do you decide you're going to fill out your brackets?  Do you know something no one else knows? The world is waiting for an answer. 

Mrs. Linklater looks for the intangibles. Those mystical cosmic signs that tell her who is going to win. Even when she's already picked a different team.

For instance, Southern Illinois was ranked fourth in the Midwest bracket. Mrs. L picked SI in the first round. Like most citizens of this great state, she was hoping for a match up with Illinois, their cross state rivals, in the second round. Especially since they would be playing each other in Chicago. Mrs. L feels a digression coming on. Bear with her please.

Hope was high, even though Illinois was ranked 12th and barely got into the tournament thanks to illness, injury and police matters. But anything is possible during MARCH MADNESS [cue the fanfare].

However, while they were comfortably ahead during their first round game, Illinois decided to stop playing during the final four minutes for some reason. Maybe because they led by ten points. So they figured why bother. Too bad. They ended up losing by two.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Linklater didn't have time to work her good vibes on the Illinois players during the game because she was driving around doing errands and people might stare.

However, when the Southern Illinois Salukis played their first round game, she was able to determine who would win before halftime. In case you don't know a Saluki is a dog that the Bedouin tribesmen use for hunting in the desert.  You don't see them very much in this country.  But while the Salukis were in the middle of a dogfight, as it were, during the first half, Mrs. Linklater saw a man out walking his dog. Not an unusual sight for the most part, but this man was walking a -- yes you guessed it -- Saluki.

A SIGN!!! [Cue Cosmic SFX]. Naturally, Southern Illinois won the game. But Mrs. Linklater was just getting warmed up.

In the second round over the weekend, Tennessee was in a close game while Mrs.L was out and about.  [Unfortunately, Mrs. Linklater left her brackets in the other room and she doesn't feel like getting up to see who they played, because, frankly, it doesn't matter.]

Anywho, Mrs. L got a glance at the license plate holder on the car ahead of her just as Tennessee went up three points with very little time left.  The license plate holder said, TENNESSEE VOLS.  Do you have any idea how RARE a Tennessee Vol is in this parts?  Northwestern, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Wisconsin, Purdue, Indiana, and almost any other school in the midwest, but NOT Tennessee.

Cosmic.  Mrs. L just smiled.  She had seen yet another sign during a game.  So she knew TENNESSEE would win. Of course they did. 

She's still neck and neck with her March Madness opponent. Only ten points separate them going into the third round.  But two of his final four teams have already been knocked out.


By the way, Mrs. Linklater's final four picks are all doing well, thank you. 

1 comment:

screaminremo303 said...

When I was in the college basketball band, SIU came to Tempe for a tourney and I was tasked with making up a cheer to taunt them. It's not as famous as some of the others I created, but it made their players crack-up laughing during warm-up's.

"Salukis, Salukis, Salukis make us Puke-ese"

I have no peer in the arena of opponent repudiation.