Monday, November 14, 2011

"I've never met anyone so old who had a blog."

She looks like a young Kat Von D. She stands very tall in her ridiculously high heels. Her body is tattooed. Her hair is dyed black. Her eyes are rimmed in black eyeliner. One of her nostrils is pierced. And her lips are painted blood red. The effect is porn star pretty. 
          She attended an art school for awhile, but quit. She says she's sorry she quit. Oops. Meanwhile, she's now attending a film/media/performing arts college. I wonder when she'll quit that, too. She seems like a quitter. The kind of girl who gets bored with something or has an assignment due, so she quits, forgetting that one of these days she is going to run out of time, money, drugs, her overinflated sense of entitlement, and have to get a job. 
          She was introduced to me as someone who wanted to get into the music business. Like I could help. Apparently her experience includes a boyfriend in a rock 'n' roll band. So I mistakenly thought that meant she could compose music. Nope. She writes lyrics. Given her appearance and vocabulary, I decided she had confused banging the band with banging out lyrics. Of course, there might have been that one time when everybody got stoned and she helped the guys rhyme "cocaine" with "rain." 
          But, there was no way I could help her, especially with the rock 'n' roll end of the music business. My connections only go as far as the jingle lyrics I've written and the music I've produced to go with those lyrics, which were all for radio and tv commercials. So unless she wanted to get into writing for advertising, which requires a modicum of intelligence I did not see on display, I couldn't hook her up.  
          I don't know how we got to talking about blogs, but we did. She says she has one, but during our brief meeting, I could tell by the way she talked that 1] she wasn't funny and 2] she didn't have the vocabulary to write her way out of a paper bag, so, 3] I didn't ask for her blog's name or what it was about.
          She did the same to me, dismissing me with an insulting comment by first saying that she didn't mean it as an insult. Much. "I've never met anyone so old who had a blog," she said out loud. It was such a stupid thing to say I didn't say anything back, much to the disappointment of my fan base, it turns out. 
          When I posted that little quote on my facebook page, I got a lot of comments. Most people wanted to know how I cut her back down to earth. But I was so amazed by how that brainless bitch could say something so stupid, I didn't say anything. I just looked at her like she was a piece of lint that needed to be brushed off. And our conversation was over. 
          So, I'm sorry if I've disappointed anybody.   
          But, really, why waste good stuff on a cipher? 


Jayne Martin said...

What a completely unpleasant encounter. Clearly, God put her on earth to serve as a bad example and it sounds like she's doing her part quite well.

Mrs. L said...

Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the f**k?"

blondecoffeebean said...

Sometimes complete silence is the best comeback.