Monday, March 7, 2005

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

Sometimes my email makes me laugh.  Maybe you will too.


D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
they moved out.

 P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before
an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
in! enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ..Can we get
naked now?.

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him

5 comments:

artloner said...

holysh!tthatwassofunny!!!!!!

somenuttychic said...

LOL!!!

thisismary said...

OMG!  LOL!  Made my day (and I am restocking my medicine cabinet!)!

hempenhomespun said...

LOL!  These were terrific!  Perfectly timed too, as I'm on my way to the store to buy some decongestants.  Perhaps I'll pick up some Jackasspirin too.

tdain2003 said...

Damnitol... I've been on that for years!
: )
Tracy