Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year's Date

New Year's has always been a bad date night for me. In high school I didn't "put out" so I was the night's FIRST DATE, home by one. I learned this later from my former dates at my high school reunions. What is it about getting older that made those guys think I would like to find out stuff like that?

In college my New Year's dates were usually our last dates. For some reason I broke up with everybody I was dating on December 31st. Right about midnight. Clearly I did not have good New Year's Eve karma.

But I was young and continued to have romantic notions of expensive, candlelight dinners, dancing, and late night smooching, you know the drill.

After college I met a guy I wanted to spend New Year's Eve with for the rest of my life. This was back in the day, when young women did things like keep scrapbooks for their dream weddings, complete with pictures of their silver, china, first home,and fairy tale bridal dress -- before there was even a guy to make plans with. They still do that, but usually in secret because let's face it, it's weird.

I didn't do the bridal scrapbook thingy, but I always dreamed of the perfect New Year's Date. In fact, I had started dating the target of my obsession a couple of months before the big day. I was crazy about him and just assumed he felt the same way, because, well, he was going out with ME.

I should have known I wasn't going to be number one on his dance card when he didn't invite me to his family's house in Aspen over the holidays. He did say he would be back for New Year's, which was as good as asking me out as far as I was concerned. However, he didn't actually ask me out by saying anything that resembled, "Would you like to go out on New Year's Eve?"

So I simply decided to wait for his return. Because I was worth returning for. No one could dissuade me. He and I were going to spend that magicial evening together.

Not that I didn't have other opportunities. I think it's relevant to note that I turned down a total of five offers to go out on that particular NewYear's Eve.

But noooooo, I turned them all down. Mr. Perfect Date was going to be back from his trip so WE could have that time for OUR special evening.

Needless to say his original return date came and went. I got this information from his friends who were in touch with him. The fact that he wasn't in touch with me never crossed my radar.

Denial was at DEAF-con 4. When the big day came and he still wasn't back from Aspen, I turned down offers four and five for the evening, because I just knew he would show up around dinnertime and give me a call. I imagined him racing to a pay phone at the airport after getting off the plane. He would be so pleased that I had waited for him, only him. Then he would take me to a romantic restaurant, after bringing me flowers and a small gift from his trip. And we would find outselves in a quiet spot when the clock struck twelve and have one of those Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr moments. Did I mention he was as goodlooking as Cary Grant? On the other hand, I thought I looked better than Ms. Kerr.

He never came back for New Year's. No suspense there. He stayed in Aspen, smitten by a beautiful young woman from Europe who was the houseguest of friends, something I learned later. I stayed home, dazed and confused.

[Being dazed and confused continued after my marriage to someone else a few years later, when I once celebrated New Year's Eve watching the ball drop in New York on TV, only to discover that I had celebrated the midnight moment at eleven my time. My husband was watching a Notre Dame game, so we didn't even kiss. Happy New Year babe, I'm going to bed.]

A few weeks after the New Year's Eve that wasn't, I waited again for the original Mr. Romance to ask me to a big dance that everyone was going to. As I write this I am beginning to understand the reason I am alone today, but I digress.

The weeks passed. Someone else asked me to the dance first and I accepted -- I wasn't going to miss this event. About a week beforehand, after the movies or something, my dream man said, "Well, I guess you get the nod." Has there ever been a less enthusiastic invitation?

If I hadn't been so crazy [blind, an idiot, etc.] about him, I could have said, "You waited too long, I already have a date." But, no, I accepted and told my other date the truth -- that the guy I really wanted to go out with had just asked me and I couldn't be at the same party unless I was with him.

We dated for four years [go figure] until it FINALLY became clear that I wasn't THE ONE.

There were times we talked about THAT NEW YEAR'S EVE when I waited forhim to come back like he said he would, but didn't. Those conversations usually started out with me saying, "Remember when you stood me up for New Year's?"

Despite everything, we're still friends. He had a few redeeming features. Luckily, after forty some years, I am no longer waiting forhim. I do think he still carries a torch for the cool blond from Europe who kept him out of town way past his due date that New Year's in Aspen. [Even after four kids and an ex-wife later.]

These days I look more like Cary Grant than he does. As for whatever her name was -- his Aspen fling -- I think it's ironic that she was Deborah Kerr's assistant.

14 comments:

judypearllove said...

NEW YEARS HAS ALWAYS BEEN GREAT FOR ME. MANY NIGHTS IN BETWEEN HAVE TURNED OUT NOT AS GOOD BUT NEW YEARS HAS ALWAYS BEEN PERFECT FOR ME IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. I'VE HAD THE MAN OF MY DREAMS SHOW UP 1 MIN. BEFORE MIDNIGHT IN A PACKED BAR I WORKED IN, BEEN ON DATES TO DIE FOR AND BEEN IN A CASINO ALONE BUT WITH A 1000 PEOPLE AND ALSO HAD A FABULOUS TIME. I'VE SET ON THE COUCH SNUGGLING BUT WHATEVER IT HAS BEEN EVERY NEW YEARS HAS BEEN AWESOME FOR ME. THIS ONE WILL BE TOO AND I HOPE YOU FIND THE BEST ONE EVER FOR 2006 FOR YOURSELF. COME ON OVER FOR SOME FUN NEW YEARS LINKS
http://journals.aol.com/judypearllove/ToBlessedToBeStressed/

psychfun said...

Man, girl...go out & be a romantic date for someone else! ;-) I tell you, guys sometimes have no clue what to do, especially those dreamy ones we think should. Better yet, make them only wish they could have you for a New Years Eve date! ;-) So what are you doing tomorrow night? Get that party dress on & strut your stuff! Your perfect date is still out there to be had! :-)

mosie1944 said...

I'm sure I have never had a New Year's Eve date.  Now that I think of it, I haven't had many dates of any kind.  Which gives me an one weird thing to use on that 5-things meme that siennastar was kind enough to tag me with.

ally123130585918 said...

My advice to your Mrs L   (Listen to me giving you advice lol)   is just "DO NOT" make any more New Year dates - never ever....they are disastrous.....and could bring your moral down to rock bottom....Ally

ally123130585918 said...

Oh I forgot..."HAPPY NEW YEAR" and may all your dreams come true.....Ally

fmgruber said...

I'm a guy. So there is no Gender confusion! Alright?!
During my courting days I kept a little black book. In that book I had written the names of 21 young ladies, haven gone out with each three times or more. Most of them were lady’s. I still remember four of them. Not for what we might have been or had meant to each other; but, only for the very unusual circumstances rounding out those dates making them so memorable. What I do remember most, and so very vividly so, were almost all the dates with one particular lass including the earlier first time our eyes had crossed. It was later upon our first official date I was to realize for what I was born and reared for. We are married now 47 years December last. And she is making me wait almost another 3 years before she’ll tell if our union will last 50 more. Fernan

screaminremo303 said...

I was about to counsel you on the habitual womens routine of preconcieved nuptials but decided otherwise. New Year's Eve is amateur night, romatically and otherwise.

Deborah Kerr? I was always a Donna Reed-It's a wonderful life kinda guy.

jevanslink said...

I am actually going to a fun party, if you think suburban people over fifty are fun. It starts at 8:30. With a chocolate fondue fountain -- guess it's the hot new thing. I wonder what you do with the leftovers?  There's also a martini bar, plus dinner. My kinda evening. And my "date" is an old friend from high school. Not one of the guys who brought me home at one am so he could take out somebody else. Watch, I'll be home by eleven. Happy New Year everyone.  Mrs. L

helmswondermom said...

What a story!  I can remember "waiting" for someone, too.  Not on New Years', but I definitely can sympathize!
Lori

artloner said...

ahhh, he's lucky you still even speak to him, Dahlin'!

*and I'm with Remo: NYE is Amateur Night!  Blech!

xoxoxo,
andi

ladeeoftheworld said...

I did not go to my Senior Prom in high school because I waited and waited for my true-love-from-afar to ask me.  He never did.  The funny part is....I married him years later.  LOL!  

swibirun said...

OMG...that is so sad.....I guess you get the nod.  What a schmuck, insensitive clod, and jackass.  Ok, I feel better.

Could this be the friend you mentioned several weeks ago?

Chris
http://inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings.blogspot.com/
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun

bygbyrdd said...

He is the friend I mention a couple of entries ago. I posted the email he wrote to me. He wrote about the English.  I even called him to ask his permission to post it.  Mrs. L

mombzbe said...

After all the hubbub that surrounds Christmas, New Years is the holiday I don't get worked up about.  Usually, we hang out at home watching movies and letting the kids stay up too late.  (except this yr)

As for Mr Perfect...he should've been kicked in the shins.  Enthusiastically.

It looks like karma has taken care of that for you. :p
Anna