I'mdriving along and all of a sudden I see the flashing lights of a policecar in my rear view mirror. The guy's right on my rear bumper. I'dbetter get over quick or he's gonna run me off the road. So I pull overto the curb to let the officer pass me and he pulls in behind my car.Oh, geez, what have I done? Nothing. I've done nothing. I wasn'tspeeding. I didn't forget my turn signal. My stickers are allcurrent. WTF? The officer gets out and I can see in my rear viewmirror that there's someone else in his patrol car. Someone elsevery short is sitting in the passenger seat. Did he bring his kid onpatrol? Is that allowed? Kids riding in the front seat of a cop carduring a traffic stop? I roll down my window to hand him my driver'slicense and I hear, "You've been tagged Mrs. L."
Oh,it's you, Remo. Hey, what's that in the passenger seat of yourpatrol car? A doll? I mean, it looks like Chuckie. Is itChuckie? Do you drive around with a Chuckie doll sitting next toyou? You do. That's weird you know. Oh, you know.
Here are the rules; the first player of this game starts with the topic. Five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly.In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.
Mrs.Linklater is a certified weird person. However, she spends her life trying to appear normal. Admitting her weirdnesses in public is not easy. So to maintain the appearance of just being slightly skewed, she'll stick to the more benign weird stuff.
1. I like hollandaise sauce on anything, anytime. I will eat it on sandwiches. I will eat it with a spoon, plain like pudding. I will make a special trip to the store to buy asparagus or broccoli just to have something to pour hollandaise sauce over. Then I add sugar to the leftover egg whites, along with chocolate chips and make meringue shell cookies -- or as we call them at my house,SPACE COOKIES -- for their melt in your mouth yet styrofoam-looking texture.
2. My house is messy. My closets are neat.
3.If I'm writing you a note I print in block letters. If I'm taking notes in a class or writing a note to myself, I write cursively,because it's faster, slanting to the right, in a bastardized Palmer method style. If I'm signing my name, my signature is half printing,half writing and straight up and down, but mostly illegible. I've received letters to Mrs. UNKLATES and Mrs. FRIHINKENLATER because of my handwriting.
4.My favorite breakfast is an Ovaltine shake -- lots of chocolate Ovaltine, milk, and a raw egg, whipped to a froth in the blender. I like living on the edge -- not knowing if the uncooked egg is going to poison me with salmonella. I haven't
had a shake in awhile, because it's easier to just eat yogurt in the car. Hmmm, maybe this morning.
5. I only buy used cars. The last new car I had was a 1978 Buick LeSabre. I had it for fourteen years and sold it for a dollar. I told the guy he would probably get his money back looking through the seats. He did.
A client once paid me with a used Audi in perfect condition and I put 100,000 miles on it. I got a second used car at the same time, a 1983 Black Pontiac Firebird muscle car that I adored. It drove like a dream on the highway. And made no sense for a woman of my age to own. I bought my current wheels, a Jeep, from my younger daughter when she moved out of the country. Got it for a great price.
I'll be tagging some folks soon. The rest of you are expected to tag yourselves.
THIS IS MARY
DATING TIPS FOR PSYCHOPATHS
DRIBBLE BY CHUCK FERRIS