Thursday, March 24, 2005

Scalzi's Weekend Assignment Anniversary Edition

According to Scalzi, this weekend assignment, the fifty-second, marks the first anniversary of weekend assignments. I knew that.

Weekend Assignment #52: Congratulations! Hollywood is making a movie of your life, and you get to choose any actor you want to play you -- yes, even if they're dead (the things they can do with special effects!) Who do you choose and why?

All righty then.  I want Jim Carrey to play me in drag.  What?  You have a problem with that? 

Okay then, how about  Oprah?  Just because I'm a white person doesn't mean a white person has to play me.  She is a fine actress.  She can capture that certain je ne sais quoi that is central to who I am. And that has nothing to do with color or weight or anything.  It's all about soul.  And I think we're on the same page there. 

I can hear the catcalls already.  Really.  You people. No imagination.

Okay, I'm so old if we're going to do my life story I have to have a bunch of people. So I want Diane Keaton when she was young to play me in my 20's.  Kind of how she was in Looking for Mr. Goodbar. Aside from getting younger, she'll have to get taller for the part, too.

Next Cindy Crawford can play me in my thirties. Yeah I was looking good then. Maybe not that good, but good. Except she has to learn to act, first.  Puh-lease. At least she's tall enough.

Then Glenn Close can play me in my forties -- with her curly blond hair from Fatal Attraction.  Although she'd have to stand on a chair to be my height. 

Susan Sarandon can play me in my fifties.  We look nothing alike.  But that's who I want. 

Now that I've hit sixty, who's left?  Of course.  Cher.

And I want Russell Crowe to be all my boyfriends.


Extra credit: Name the musician/band who will play the theme song to the movie.

Pointer Sisters' "Dare Me", the theme song of my life.






judithheartsong said...

I LOVE it, there you go. judi

courlog said...

You had me laughing all the way Ü  I have to say you have made some wonderful choices LOL

mlobb10 said...

I like your answers! I think I'd like to see Jim Carey in drag... only thing he hasn't done yet.
Have a great weekend!

salemslot9 said...

My ex-boyfriend looked like Russell Crowe as Capt. Jack Aubrey...

salemslot9 said...

birth control commercial..."there she goes...there she goes again"...ugh.

salemslot9 said...

sorry...wrong one.

olddog299 said...

Good choices ... all except Glenn Close. I just don't think you were THAT snippy in your forties.

tdain2003 said...

Good choices.  I always wanted Diane Keaton to be my mom!

cyndygee said...

You are a hoot!  Keep it up and I'll have to put you in my "FAVORITES" column!  Oprah to play you -- for at least PART of your life?  I LOVE OPRAH!  You GO, girl, woman,  . . .  Grandma!!!  (Takes one to know one!)  LOL.