FIRST DRAFT AND IT ISN'T EVEN FINISHED
When I was over at Patrick's Place
today he went on a rant about the two Canadian hetero guys who are
getting married so they can save money. Gays can marry legally in
Canada -- so they thought since they were best friends, why not take
advantage of the opportunity, even though they're not gay.
Hey, go for it, I say. What are loopholes for if you can't wallow in them?
But I got the distinct impression
that Patrick felt this was an affront to the INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE
<<< sounds of drums and a trumpet flourish >>>
Marriage, he went on to say is
supposed to be based on love, devotion and commitment, not for
financial reasons. The key word is SUPPOSED.
That's what makes Patrick such a
wonderful person. He's like the kids who clap their hands for
Tinkerbell and think they've saved her life.
NAH. It's all make believe.
Patrick, I'm afraid you've been
naive. In a good way, because you are a good person. Just very
mistaken. In thinking that love is to marriage what chat rooms are to
the internet, you've given Mrs. Linklater something to sink her teeth
into. And shake until it's dead.
First of all the only reason women
got married in this country up until about twenty-five years ago was
for financial reasons. Period. A man's salary was her only route
to nice clothes, a nice house, a nice family, a nice life.
Love was an accident. However, I'm
sure I'll get no argument from women of a certain age how easy it was
to love someone who could give you those things. In fact, there
must have been a study done by now to confirm how lovable people with
money are versus people without money.
A fatass slob with a combover who
farts at the dinner table will leave any number of women starry eyed if
he's got enough money to keep a roof over their heads and food in their
stomachs. Okay, diamonds and furs, too.
Perhaps Mrs. L has overstated the power of money to overcome somebody
who is supremely unattractive. But is there anyone more
frightening to imagine coming on to you than Hugh Hefner? Besides
I rest my case.
So Mrs. Linklater's first point is that if nobody had money, nobody would be married.
Bet you can't wait for her second point.