Monday, January 30, 2006

And The Sundance Film Festival Winners Are. . .

The names of these movies alone are enough to prevent me from seeing them.


Documentary Grand Jury Prize   
GOD GREW TIRED OF US
[Charlton Heston comes out of retirement?]

Dramatic Grand Jury Prize  

QUINCEAÑERA
[I smell subtitles]

World Cinema Jury Prize: Documentary  

IN THE PIT
[Brad talks about life with Angie?]

World Cinema Jury Prize: Dramatic  

13 TZAMETI
[Starring that Giamatti guy?]

Documentary Directing Prize  

IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS
[I can watch this every night on the news]

Dramatic Directing Prize  

A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS
[Religion for Dummies?]

Documentary Cinematography Prize  

IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS
[Is there an echo in here?]

Dramatic Cinematography Prize  

RIGHT AT YOUR DOOR
[That's a little too close for me]

Documentary Editing Award 

IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS
[Hello, hello, is this thing on?]

Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award  

STEPHANIE DALEY
[Where -- no, WHO is Waldo?]

Special Jury Prize: Documentary 

AMERICAN BLACKOUT
[And the babies that follow]

Special Jury Prize: Documentary

AMERICAN BLACKOUT
[The ultimate in low budget filmmaking -- a long fade to black]
TV JUNKIE

[Taking the remote away cold turkey]

Special Dramatic Jury Prize for Best Ensemble Performance

A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS
[Do you learn how to pick them out of a line up?]

Special Dramatic Jury Prize for Independent Vision:
IN BETWEEN DAYS
[That nano second between Monday and Tuesday captured on film for the first time]

World Cinema Special Jury Prize: Documentary  

INTO GREAT SILENCE
DEAR PYONGYANG
[Nothing creates silence like a pyongyang]

World Cinema Special Jury Prize: Dramatic 

EVE & THE FIRE HORSE
[Please tell me this isn't porn]

Alfred P. Sloan Feature Film Prize  

THE HOUSE OF SAND
[The sequel to House of Mirth]

Audience Award: Documentary   

GOD GREW TIRED OF US
[That's pretty obvious]

Audience Award: Dramatic  

QUINCEAÑERA
[James Olmos, J-Lo, and Marc Antony like you've never seen them]

World Cinema Audience Award: Documentary  

DENADIE
[You say De-NAH-dee, I say De-NAY-dee]

World Cinema Audience Award: Dramatic  

NO. 2 
[They named a movie after a bodily function?]

Jury Prize in Short Filmmaking  
THE WRAITH OF COBBLE HILL
[Feel the wrath of the wraith]
BUGCRUSH

[Orange Crush with a worm at the bottom?]

Jury Prize in International Short Filmmaking  

THE NATURAL ROUTE
[No implants were harmed in the making of this flick]

Honorable Mentions for Short Filmmaking  

BEFORE DAWN
[Before Dawn there was JOY with Lemon Scent]
PREACHER WITH AN UNKNOWN GOD
[The Jimmy Swaggart Story]
UNDRESSING MY MOTHER
[Let's not go there]


5 comments:

hewasolddog299 said...

I don't know... I think you're missing the boat on a great 1st date porn twosome: EVE & THE FIRE HORSE followed by UNDRESSING MY MOTHER. What a knock out billing!

psychfun said...

Ha...love that last comment & love your comments! Thanks for the Laughs!

gaboatman said...

News Flash:
Robert Redford and his legal team are sparing no expense trying to find out if journaling on AOL gives one the same rights as professional journalists, thus preventing any law suits assiociated with this and any other tongue in cheek reviews of his favorite pet project.  The analysis and concensus at AOL headquarters as of noon today, Eastern Standard Time, has it that Mrs. L has nothing to worry about and may go about in public with little fear.  There was no immediate comment from the Redford camp. <wink>

sunnyside46 said...

made me smile today!
Marti

bosoxblue6993w said...

Christ! ... that Giamatti guy's in my freakin' home movies!