My next door neighbors, lovely people, decided to move back to Sweden. In fact, they've already left. Yesterday the movers came to pack up their house.
of doing the logical thing and parking in front of my neighbors' house,
as you might expect, since it was my neighbors who were moving, the
movers parked a truck the size of an apartment building in front of my
That sucker was one huge moving van, the kind that can
carry two houses' worth of stuff. In fact, it was so long that its back
end butted up to the edge of my lawn on one side while the front end
extended several yards past my driveway on the other side.
Needless to say my driveway was completely blocked. So was my car, which was sitting in my driveway.
there was nothing parked in front of my neighbors' house. Their
driveway wasn't blocked. Nor were there any cars parked in it.
of the movers bothered to see if I was home. No one bothered to ring my
doorbell to ask if I had an opinion about having a moving van parked
across the front of my property, blocking my driveway.
came out of my house, got in my car, backed it up until it was almost
touching the van and prepared to honk my horn, but one of the movers
saw me before I started blasting away.
I got out of my car and made the universal gesture that says, "What the f*ck are you doing blocking my driveway?"
three movers stopped loading the van, set their boxes down and removed
the ramps they were using to load my neighbors' stuff. This took some
I started to get back into my car, one of the movers came over to drive
the van out of the way so I could get out of my driveway. This meant
driving almost three houses down, the thing was so long.
Climbing into the cab of the truck he turned to me shouted, "Just honk when you come back and we'll let you back in."
when I had to make a split second decision. Stay and fight, or just
leave. My whole body was ready for confrontation. "Whaddya mean YOU'LL
let me back into MY driveway? YOU'RE going to MOVE that frigging
van now and block somebody else's driveway."
the fight I was born to start, the argument that was just itching to be
had, the persuasive language I was longing to use, the toe to toe I was
dying to participate in, never took place. Mrs. Linklater stepped away
from the moment.
Here's the part you might not understand. How
could Mrs. Linklater just give up? Easy. I had to be downtown for work
and I was running late. I also knew that I wouldn't be back until
late. So having a moving van parked in front of my house, aside
from being annoying, wasn't that big a deal, since I wasn't going to be
around anyway. Quelle disappointment.
instead of telling the movers to back up their freaking moving van from
the front of my house to the front of my neighbors' house or I'd call
the cops [who, I just know, would love to drop whatever they were doing
to take care of my problem], I didn't say anything.
even passed up a chance to ask them why they decided that it was okay
to block MY driveway in the first place, but, I really had to go.
I just got in my car and left, disappointed more than anyone will know
that I had to pass up such a wonderful opportunity to prove that women
over sixty who live alone can still play the bitch card.