Well, it's National Celebrities Who Have Breast Cancer Month, so we're all being reminded about how important it is to have a mammogram each year. Or, as I call it, the yearly Tits In A Ringer X-Ray.
While the money it costs to pay for
those mammograms makes the manufacturers of those torture machines
richer every October, along with the doctors that can't wait to slam
your breasts into them -- there are a few other things you can do to
help prevent breast cancer besides getting a mammogram.
Stop smoking for starters. Quit
taking birth control pills or popping HRT if you've been loading up on
either one of those horse hormones for more than five years. Of course,
if you're smoking AND doing the pill, it's only a matter of time, but
you're definitely getting the Big C. Might as well reserve a room at
While we're coming up with things
you can do, nurse your babies. Nursing hormones offer protection
against breast cancer for your mammary glands. The longer you
breastfeed, the better. Use 'em or lose 'em.
Cheryl Crow is our most recent
poster girl for breast cancer. She's skinny enough to be one of
those women who smokes instead of eats. But let's give her the benefit
of the doubt and assume she doesn't. However, I'll bet she's been
doing birth control for a couple of decades. You can pay a high price for being horny.
The cancer society never gives out
the stats on the percentage of women who get breast cancer each year
who were taking birth control or HRT. I wonder how much the
pharmaceutical companies are donating to them to keep their mouths shut?
It's also Domestic Violence
Awareness Month, the Disease of Women Who Think He'll Change. But you'd
never know it, considering the lack of coverage. No celebrities like to
admit they've been pummeled by a partner. And the media are only
interested in ordinary people after you've been punched around until
Okay, my yearly rant is over. Don't say I didn't warn you.