THE HOTEL ZA ZA

The Hotel Za Za is supposedly the hip n' happening swank spot to stay in Dallas. That's why they charge a lot more than the spartan accommodations Mrs. Linklater chose. [See previous entry.] 

A cadre of bodyguard sized men in well filled out black t-shirts is there to greet you in the lobby. Each has his gold name tag carefully pinned to his ample chest. They exist only to serve. Mrs. L thought for a moment that the Chippendales were in town, working the late shift for extra tips.

There is a huge glass filled with hot tamales for the taking as you check in. There's also a canopied bed right by the front desk in case you want to practice using one before retiring to your room. 

Mrs. Linklater even noticed a nude statue. "Betty" was a real person at one time. Not that she was trapped in the statue or anything. She was a Dallas socialite whose heyday was the fifites. Clearly she was not only well endowed, but well liked by all her husbands. At least liked well enough to have her au naturelle physique captured in stone so she could be used as a garden ornament. And now as a lobby ornament. Kind of makes Mrs. Linklater wonder what kind of an ornament she herself might make on someone's lawn. There's also that chandelier you see above hanging in the lobby.  Like you need all that crystal to make your stay more pleasant.  All right, so the Hotel Za Za has room service and a classy restaurant.  And a rooftop bar. Mrs. Linklater knows the value of her dollar.

Just give her a bed.  A bathroom.  Running water.  A few lights.  A TV with a remote. And a door that locks. That's all she needs.  The rest is just a way for them to pad your bill.