V-Day Approaches

Mrs. Linklater was out and about on AOL this evening. Try as she might, she couldn't avoid all the opportunities to hook up for Valentine's Day. [She likes Godiva chocolates, funny cards, and flowers if you're asking]. It doesn't take much to see that for anyone looking for love, AOL is a regular carnival of cyber generated opportunities, if you'll pardon her cynicism. But you can't get any lovin' without a great opening line.  And here are twenty-five suggested by the galloping geeks over at Match.com who must be celibate. With Mrs. Linklater's candid replies.

 

25 scintillating subject lines
Randy B. Hecht Love@AOL by match.com

. . .Want to make an [email/IM] impression that sets you apart in a crowded field. Want an enthusiastic reply? Try one of these openers to begin a great conversation that could lead to a great relationship:

1. Your profile made me smile. I'd love to return the favor!

Mrs. L:   But I better not hold my breath.

2. We haven't even met, and I'm daydreaming about you.

Mrs L:  I smell restraining order.

3. You remind me of my dinner tonight-full of spice!

Mrs. L: You remind me of the gas that comes later.

4. Oh, my!

Mrs. L:  Oh, no.

5. Your profile reminded me why I joined Match.com

Mrs. L:  For some reason, you think you're attractive.

6. Even my PC screen lit up at the sight of you

Mrs. L:  Check to see if you're sitting on something.

7. What a delightful surprise you are!

Mrs. L:  Like chocolate poured over green beans or something better?

8. I think our dogs need a play date and we need a real date!

Mrs. L:  I'll bring my new pooper scooper.

9. Boy, do we have a lot in common!

Mrs. L:  We can both type.  It's a start.

10. Hoping to pique your curiosity ... for starters ...

Mrs. L:  I know, you're hung like a donkey.  Thanks for sharing.

11. If I weren't so shy, I'd tell you you're gorgeous

Mrs. L:  In two seconds, you're going to say you bet I have nice hooters and a great ass, but you're shy and something like that would never enter your mind.

12. What an upbeat attitude. I'm positive we'd click!

Mrs. L:  Do I hear the sound of handcuffs?

13. I'd love to hear more about your travels.

Mrs. L:  Well, I get in my car, drive it to work.  Park it.  And drive back home again.  You?

14. Flirt Alert!

Mrs. L: Oh, good, you're about to turn on your personality. I'm sure it's gotta be here somewhere. [YAWN]

15. You sound like a great person and parent — can we chat?

Mrs. L:  You're looking for that special someone to wipe your fanny and keep juice boxes in the fridge?

16. Your profile just gave me a cardiovascular workout

Mrs. L:  Why do I think your keyboard needs cleaning up, too.

17. I'm trying to decide what comes next after WOW

Mrs. L:  Sheesh, another high school dropout.

18. Has anyone told you you're fascinating?

Mrs. L: Usually they can't spell "fascinating."

19. Read your profile last night and thought of you all day today.

Mrs. L:  Why do I feel uncomfortable hearing this?

20. Are you free for dinner tonight?

Mrs. L: Or are you worried you'll have to pay for my meal and then pray you'll get a freebie later?

21. Blown away ...

Mrs. L: Don't go there.

22. Do you often turn cynics into romantics?

Mrs. L:  I'm usually more successful going the other direction.

23. You could bring out the gold medal snuggler in me.

Mrs. L:  Luckily, it won't come to that.

24. I could tell you my life story ... but I think it won't begin until we meet

Mrs. L: And then you'll bore me for hours with how wonderful you are.

25. Just when I was sure there was no one like you ... here you are!

Mrs. L:  Gone in sixty seconds.