Wednesday, January 25, 2006

What's In Your Purse?

Good Morning America did a segment about how what's in your purse says a lot about who you are. Diane Sawyer showed the contents of four purses to an expert who explained what kind of person owned each one. A purse personality expert? The Apocolypse is lurking around the corner. 

Anyways, you got your super organized, the not so organized, the ready for anything, and the terrorist. [Kidding.] Diane's purse was the one that included vinyl gloves and a "condom" to put over someone's mouth, so she could perform CPR. Oh, please. She also had her passport and a pack of cinnamon gum, which made her "adventuresome."

I can't believe that one's gum choice could reveal anything. Juicy Fruit supposedly means you're a team player and a people pleaser. Peppermint escapes me, but there was a pack in the very organized purse that was full of pockets -- those kinds of people always worry about their breath. Sticks of Clove gum mean you grew up in the fifties. Hubba Bubba means you're emotionally stuck in junior high. Bet you can't tell which ones I'm making up.

All this time I thought life in the good old US of A was all about size, but I guess it's flavor that matters.

People who mean to be organized but carry around receipts that get wrinkled and covered with gunk need to get a plastic bag to put that stuff in. Or some kind of a clip. What about people that have unidentifiable pills rolling around on the bottom? There was nothing said about that. How about people who carry pictures of old boyfriends? Or a sewing kit? I have no idea who those people are. None. Not me, of course.


My purse has make up, an emery board, a pair of reading glasses, my cellphone, a pick for my hair, a bobby pin, checks, bank cards, business cards, and my passport, which I have with me at all times. You never know when you have to catch the redeye to Paris.

I usually carry cinnamon Tic Tacs or cinnamon gum, but not today. I also cheat. I keep gas and other receipts I've collected, along with the occasional lottery ticket [when the pot gets high enough] as well as extraneous keys and a pair of scissors in that storage thing next to the driver's seat. So my car is just an extension of my purse. Anything that doesn't fit in my purse or the armrest goes on the floor behind the front seat.

I used to have one of those things that holds two tampons. I used to have a Leatherman, too. I've also brought along a toothbrush, a change of underwear, and food. More than once. And not for the reasons you might think.

What's comparable to a purse for guys? Their pockets? Gym bags? The glove compartment? 

And do they all have a little package with a Trojan logo on it that leaves a permanent imprint on their wallets?

I once sprained my ankle playing tennis and the paramedics were called to take me to the hospital, but not before the guys I was playing with had their way with me.

When I went down on the court, one of them got a chair to elevate my leg. Another got some ice. And the third covered my face. "She's dead isn't she?" 

The owner of the club came out, looked at me lying in the middle of the court, checked his watch and said, "Well, I'm going to have to charge you for court time."

Finally my partner had someone get my purse from my locker. The paramedics were loading me up when he brought it out. "Everything's in there, except for the condoms. We didn't think you'd be needing them."


10 comments:

mombzbe said...

No condoms in my bag, for CPR or recreation; but I carry more than enough other stuff to make up for it.  I'm 5'5"; 5'2" with the purse.

I got your Juicy Fruit right here...
Anna

meforevermore said...

Wow I wonder what my purse says about me. Makeup, hair brush, gum (spearmint lol), keys, and wallet. Oh and tylenol. Hmm... I need someone to analyze me lol

Oh and yeah I've had clothing and food in my purse before lol And if I had one, I'd probably keep my passport with me. Haven't been out of the country yet. (Not going to count border hopping, that just doesn't count lol)

Wonder what nail polish and a bottle of water means... lol

~Lily

suzypwr said...

There is never any food in my purse, or anything that smells like food. Go spend three digits on a new purse and put a 10 cent mint in it and leave it where my dogs can reach it and you will understand why. I carry a tape measure. What does that say? I also have a flashlight and a Swiss Army knife.

xoxo

ksquester said...

You have inspired me to clean out my purse. Too many strange loose things in the bottom.  Anne

screaminremo303 said...

Lessee... car key/house key/mailbox key in right front pocket, money/change/cellphone in left front pocket, wallet in right ass-pocket, fresh can of Copenhagen in left ass-pocket. The keys are on a single ring (no fobs-fobs are for fruitnicks). Who needs condoms anyways? I'm all about the giving.

billierwilson said...

jeez... what about if you change purses all the time? i keep the needed stuff... wallet with emergency cash, cards, checks.. a change purse( that's where the condom is, probably not good, banging around in there), cell phone and camera. keys and the "extra" set(the one with the spare keys, in case someone loses their way in to their house... and sunglass/case...basic makeup needs.. the leatherman...   none of it's organized but it all fits, haha. probably says that i'm a nut, lol
i should add the passport... i like that, then i would be ready for everything, right? hahaha
Billie

billierwilson said...

jeez... what about if you change purses all the time? i keep the needed stuff... wallet with emergency cash, cards, checks.. a change purse( that's where the condom is, probably not good, banging around in there), cell phone and camera. keys and the "extra" set(the one with the spare keys, in case someone loses their way in to their house... and sunglass/case...basic makeup needs.. the leatherman...   none of it's organized but it all fits, haha. probably says that i'm a nut, lol
i should add the passport... i like that, then i would be ready for everything, right? hahaha
Billie

psychfun said...

Oh right like how many times does Diane Sawyer have to give CPR? Condom, & vinyl gloves...my guess is she is playing up the prime & proper image when she is really one wild women!

floralilia said...

wallet, lipsticks, mirror, eyeglass case, clean but fraying tissue (1) ?, old receipts, a paperclip, some loose beads, 10 working pens ?, a sample tube of moisturizer, lint, and a broken candy cane.

small purse makes me stay organized.

but when the kids were little - a much bigger purse and enough paraphenalia to go to survive a deserted island with...

sunnyside46 said...

great entry Mrs. L
I have a rock, a little plastic doll like you get for fifty cents in th emachine in the grocery store, a notebook, my wallet, hairbrush, lipstick, a bag of guinea pig food....
Marti