Thursday, March 9, 2006

New Tires Come In Handy

While my recent flat tire episode may guarantee a punched ticket to the Blond Hair Hall of Fame, sometimes I manage to function on all my cylinders and yesterday was a good example of that.

I was returning from downtown, enjoying the smooth ride on my new Goodyear Wrangler treads. In fact, I was almost home and stopped at a light in the right lane on a four lane road. You know, two going this way, two going that way.

The light changed and I moved forward, not with my foot on the floor like the guy in the new black Mercedes driving next to me on my left, but in a kinder, gentler MOM DRIVE FASTER way. 

One nano second later, I noticed the following:  There were three cars stopped in the left lane a few yards ahead. Very few. The first car in the line was waiting to turn into a driveway, sitting there until the oncoming traffic subsided. The other two were waiting for the first one to turn.  All had their brake lights on.

Meanwhile, the guy in the left lane next to me in the Mercedes was accelerating like Shirley Muldowney. I slowed way down, enjoying the excellent traction afforded by my pretty new tires, because I could see the guy was going to drive smack dab into the stopped cars. Apparently they hadn't heard him yelling, "GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!"

Wisely, I didn't want to become part of the crash that was about to occur. 

BLAMO. The Mercedes guy didn't attempt to brake until he was a mere three feet from the BMW SUV which took the full brunt without blinking.  Hit from behind by a Mercedes sedan that was going nearly forty miles an hour and the BMW absorbed the blow so completely, it never budged. Not even touching the bumper of the car stopped in front of it. 

I pulled over to offer myself as a witness. Sure enough both drivers came over to see if I'd been hurt or something.  You should have seen the face of the guy who'd been driving the Mercedes when I told them NOPE, I was a witness.  He'd already told the driver of the car he'd hit that she had turned in front of him or something equally absurd.

No sir, you left the intersection like a bat out of Hell and slammed right into her. I got to see it all from the right lane, just behind you.

Later the BMW driver told me the Mercedes guy was in a brand new car on his way to a doctor's appointment because he had high blood pressure.

I think he was on a cell phone myself.  But I wasn't looking at him. I was watching his car speeding into an immoveable object from the comfort of my Jeep. 

When the cop came over to take my name and address, I asked if he minded answering a question for me. Sure, what do you want to know?

Do you like my new tires? 


gdireneoe said... it.  Oh me... ;)  C.

ksquester said...

God, I love your stories....even if I didn't have any Ilini wine tonight!  Anne

swibirun said...

Did the cop happen to be Remo? LOL


jevanslink said...

I wish.  Mrs. L

emmapeeldallas said...

This is EXCELLENT.  I was rear-ended on the tollroad here in Dallas a few years ago by a woman in a Ford Explorer on a cellphone.  Traffic was stop and go, and I was stopped, in the leftmost lane, in a line of traffic that was stopped for as far as the eye could see.  I had shifted into neutral and had my emergency brake on, because it was clear we were going to be sitting there for a while...and in my rearview mirror, I could see this woman suddenly accelerating and coming right at me...she was looking over her right shoulder, and talking on her cellphone, not looking ahead at all...she hit my Honda Accord so hard, the car literally buckled - it was totalled - and she drove me into 3 cars in front of me, so it ended up being a 5-car collision.  The beautiful thing was (and this was the only beautiful thing, because I ended up with a mild head injury, in spite of the fact that I was wearing my seat belt) was that a State Trooper was at the side of the road, and just as you did, he observed the whole thing, and wrote up his report saying what had happened.  Cool.