Every year around this time my furnace usually kicks in. Sometimes it kicks in as early as September. When that happens I used to worry that we would have a long and terrible winter. But in Chicago the seasons don't seem to have any bearing on each other. A hot summer and fall can produce a freezing ass cold winter. Or not. I learned a long time ago that the temperatures of spring and fall are to the temperatures of summer and winter as lava lamps are to fish.
With natural gas prices climbing to the sky, I thought this year I would wait until November to turn on the heat. For the principle of the thing. Unfortunately this fall has been brisk to say the least. In fact, my furnace wanted to turn itself on a good two weeks ago -- way ahead of MY schedule, so I just flipped the switch off. Na na na na na.
Now we're in the third week of October. It's cooling off rapidly around here. Very rapidly. The temperature dropped to thirty last night. My house holds heat for quite awhile, but I notice this morning that my hands are starting to turn blue while I'm typing this. That was an exaggeration, a figure of speech. The blood just stopped moving in my fingers is all.
I could swear there's a breeze in here, too. What's that about? No problem, I'll just put on some gloves until I'm finished writing this. Then I'll plunge them into boiling water. Besides, what are heating pads and those Thermacare patches for?
I have to say the toilet seat sure is getting cold. Should have taken the plumber up on that heated option they were offering.
Meanwhile, I've got enough polar fleece to outfit a mountain climbing team. Although I'm not moving very well with four jackets on. But I don't care. This is a competition. It's me against the furnace. And the gas company. Of course, the furnace is at a disadvantage, since I've turned it off. Haaaaaaa. And the gas company could care.
You watch, I'll make it to Halloween. I refuse to turn on the furnace until then.
On the other hand, between now and then, I may have to check into a hotel to stay warm.