I wrote an entire entry this morning about the three recent homicides involving mothers of children. In two cases, the deaths of the children too. I really put it to the dads.
Like we all don't know who committed every one of these crimes. However, if there's one lesson OJ taught us, it's to make sure nobody f**ks up the crime scene evidence like the detective who carried around OJ's blood in the heat. Or the recent Duke disaster that taught the DA to err on the side of caution.
But waiting for the obvious person to be handcuffed and booked still seemed like it was taking forever.
I discussed the likelihood that the person who committed each of these murders was anyone but the father. In fact I think I went out on a limb and said that the chance that all these people were killed by someone other than Dear Old Dad was ZERO. Those of you who think otherwise can go play in traffic.
Then AOL ate my entry.
And the cops blew my cover. They went and arrested two of the three certified jerks today. One in Missouri; one in Ohio.
JERK ONE: "Hey, it was just a coincidence that I drove to an isolated area off the highway, and hid the car between two huge bushes so I could I tell my wife and family about an affair I was having. Who knew she would take the gun I brought with me and kill the children and herself after she tried to kill me."
JERK TWO: "Sure I've got kids with three women, one of whom is actually my wife, but so does half the NBA -- that doesn't make me a killer. Okay, maybe one of the mothers of my children moved way far away because I'm an abuser, but someone's got to keep these bitches in line. Luckily I'm a cop. You got a problem with that?"
Now there's just one dad to go. The one who said his wife was going to her health club or running or something and just vanished.
JERK THREE: "I always send the kids into town for ice cream so I can have my wife alone for some quiet time while I clean my deer rifles. Usually she tries to avoid me, so I made her an offer she couldn't refuse. *WINK* *WINK*. Just because we're getting divorced and I refuse to leave the premises because I'm a control freak and a meanbastard is no reason to think I would do anything to harm her in any way. Watch out for the blood on the floor."
I'm sure the police are just waiting to find her body so they only have to arrest him once. I can't wait.
I have also noticed that the big media arrest provides a more satisfying result than the ultimate jury verdict. Yay, they caught the sicko. The next phase is so time consuming and fraught with missteps. Now the lawyers have to PROVE the bad guy did it. Sheesh. What a shame we have to have trials. Oh, wait, this is America. Where we're innocent until proven guilty. Unless the media thinks you're guilty. Or you're in LA where the prosecutors couldn't prove guilt when it was handed to them on a platter. Or you're a guy named Nifong who would be king.
Meanwhile, I wonder which one of these domestic tales will be made into a LIFETIME movie.