Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Real Snow Storm

I guess that storm we had over the weekend was just for practice. A kick in the pants to get the snowblowers ready. The real storm went through here last night. Complete with lake effect snow.

As near as I can tell lake effect means that the clouds, which usually move east across the water towards the state of Michigan, turn around and head back our way. At this point the lake starts to act like a huge glass of water. Coming back across the lake, the clouds are like giant straws, sucking up water and turning it into snow, now that the weather is cold enough. When the clouds hit the warm land back on our side, they stop and take a big dump, and they don't stop evacuating until there's a strong enough wind to push them back across the lake again. This laxative usually takes twelve hours or so to finish doing its job. So the snow may fall gently, but it falls relentlessly. Then if the clouds really get stuck on our side of the lake, we can get as much as 27 inches in 24 hours like we did back in 1967.

Needless to say the sissy storm last weekend didn't require a snowblower because everything melted the next day. Today with six to seven inches on the the ground the snowblowers were out making driveways safe for mail carriers and wellness checks.

Except mine. When I could no longer shovel my driveway, I bought a 5 HP machine at full retail a few snow storms ago. My neighbor and I agreed to share it. Since I paid through the nose for it, he would maintain it, keep it at his place, and snow blow my driveway when it was needed.

So I was a little disappointed to discover that my driveway had not been cleared when I went out this morning. Disappointed? I think "Oh, sh*t" is what I said when I came outside.

When I got back from doing errands, nothing had been done this afternoon either. I was going to call and tell my neighbors just to get the machine started up and I would do my own driveway, but they weren't home.

Then I noticed the new guy from across the street had fired up a huge snowblower that looked like it could take out an iceberg. He was walking around the neighborhood doing driveways and sidewalks on his own.

Maybe he'll do mine I thought. Strangely, since I'm the only single lady living alone, he only did my sidewalk and then, inexplicably, he began doing my neighbors' driveway. WTF?

Wait a minute, those people have a snowblower -- my snowblower -- and they can do their own driveway. AFTER they do my driveway.

Hoping to get the new guy to do MY driveway, because I deserved it more than my neighbors, I walked over to thank him for doing my sidewalk. I asked him about his snowblower, mustering up as much admiration as I could for something that does nothing but spit snow. Wow, 9 HP. Mine is only 5 HP -- my neighbor has it in his garage. Yes, the neighbor whose driveway you just did. He's supposed to do my driveway when it snows -- did I mention that it's my snowblower that he has in his garage. But now that you've done his driveway, I'm not sure mine will get done.

The new guy said he just got his snowblower and he was only trying to be a good neighbor. Sure. Sure. I figured chances were good that I could get my driveway done after all. Considering that the new guy built a monstrous house with an ugly turret that's been on the market for over a year, he has a lot of good nieghbor catching up to do. I nodded and smiled at him, walked back to my house, hoping he'd get the hint and finish MY driveway.

Didn't happen. He actually walked passed my house and took his new machine over to help another neighbor, who was out shoveling his driveway. So now two of my neighbors, one of whom should have done my driveway early this morning, both have clean driveways, thanks to the new guy.

And I got squat.


screaminremo303 said...

You forgot the lip gloss.

thisismary said...

Are you joking?  Honest now, the new neighbor with the ugly McMansion cleared the driveway of the people next to you, but not your driveway?  The driveway of people that have control of YOUR snow blower? The people that didn't clear your driveway?

Go do a wellness check on your snowblower tonight.  Best time would be well, now.  Bring it home, chain it to the back porch if you don't have a garage.  
I can help you keep the silly thing running.  

gaboatman said...

Mrs. L
It is obvious that your neighbors do not feel the love like we do.  Go get that snowblower back and be sure to sprinkle a little sugar in the gas tank of the neighbor's car with the ugly turret when no one is arround.  Or better yet, sprinkle it in his snowblower gas tank.  Do not fold and let your neighbor keep your snowblower ever again regardless of his excuse.
PS.  Just kidding about the sugar.  I think!

dafyddhevans said...

Give the moron $20 to blow your driveway.  Otherwise, call Pete Z.  That could be your xmas present if you'd like.  Year's supply of Pete.

Ask your neighbor for the blower back, take some pictures and put it up on ebay.

Seems like you've got this hippie trust thing going on.  Wish I had that...

jevanslink said...

Turns out my neighbors I share the blower with were at a party last night and didn't get home until five in the morning and went straight to work with hangovers.  They took care of everything early this evening.  And apologized.  They had no idea who had done their driveway until I told them. Then they couldn't figure out why the guy didn't do mine, too.  

Mrs. L

psychfun said...

Whooo...maybe they are pissed about the wellness checks? Figure leave the lady alone or they will get it. I'd definitely contact that neighbor who is suppose to do your driveway & say if he is not going to do it you want the snowblower you paid for back! You can have some kid do it then! We are getting more snow tonight too!

psychfun said...

Hang overs & a snowblower...not a good mix...that could have been ugly! I'd personally rather have yellow snow than red!

I hope they were not working for the CTA or RTA. Probably work for the govt! Well, at least you know it isn't you personally! Ya, that other neighbor is a real shit for not offering! I'd make sure your neighbor blew the snow on their driveway! HA! Man being drunk & seeing your driveway with now snow...that had to really make them freaked out a bit. Are those neighbors even friends? Hmmmm

salemslot9 said...

it sounds like a plan
to upset the lady
living in the
sweet little house
because they would rather have
a big ugly house there :(

mombzbe said...

Snowblower?  HP? think I was bitching the other day about a little frost on the windows to my van.....