Monday, May 19, 2014

The Eyes of March -- The Noise from Mrs. Linklater's Seat at Starbucks

Found this riveting, as yet unpublished, entry from March. If you're having trouble sleeping, I highly recommend it. 

Now that I'm a new grandma, you might expect me to temper my outre ways a bit. Maybe say nice things about people. Think good thoughts. Naaaaahhhh. 

But, before I begin any rants, here's a random grandbaby picture I can add -- guess who is now almost longer her little newborn basket? She's already doubled her weight and grown four inches. And she's only two weeks old. Okay. I kid. 

And now for something completely different. . .

It's March Madness time [NOTE: It was when I wrote this], which means it's time for Mrs. L's cockamammy prognostications about who's going to win the whole thing. Unlike football, where teams win wearing red or black or accessorized with silver or gold , Mrs. L thinks that whichever basketball team is wearing [boring] home team white has the best chance -- once they get to the Final Four.


On the other hand, in the ramp up to the fearsome foursome, home teams in white haven't got a prayer without the most awesome uniform mojo. Or they're guaranteed to lose. For instance, last night at the Big Ten Tournament, [#1] Michigan had some visiting team mojo cooking, no doubt allowing them to pull off a one point squeaker against [#9] Illini's whites in a game Big Blue [or  should have owned going away. Of course, this time of year, it doesn't matter what the rankings are, all uniform bets are off during March Madness. Speaking of home team mojo -- that's the only reason for Ohio State's lucky escape in the first round. Musta been the shoes.

Continuing with the underdogs, how 'bout Chris Collins and his [#11] Northwestern Wildcats taking out Iowa? With 28 seconds left, and only 2 points between them, NU could have totally choked. This is when they have choked before. Instead, Mrs. Linklater choked. She couldn't stand hearing NU going up by seven, then handing back four points with a stupid foul [about a million times]. 

Tonight [Friday] it will be considered a miracle if NU wins against Michigan State. Last night NU played way over their heads. The team's normally dismal percentages went to the stratosphere -- in the Top Five nationally if last night had been regular season play. Against MSU, which has enjoyed four days off, NU's legs are going to feel heavy and tired. So. No miracles tonight. Not going to happen. Even if Chris' father, Doug, is talking into a secret earpiece to help his kid with the coaching. [PS Mrs. L was sooooo right about the game.]

Did somebody want to take a long weekend in the Maldives or something? Sorry, not funny. But the Malaysians aren't making any points with their keystone cops routine. There's absolutely nothing that makes any sense. But, of course, we're still getting 24/7 updates. 

Earthquakes all over the place. Looks like Ohio had a couple of serious ones. Wait till they get into California and start sucking up the gas while sitting on top of the San Andreas fault. 7.8 anyone?

And one more baby picture. Because I can.

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