Saturday, May 26, 2007

Let Me Get This Straight

Okay. You're at work and there's a bomb threat. EVERYBODY OUT OF THE BUILDING!!!

Now, unless your boss is a total jerk, you have the rest of the day off. Where are you going to go? Shopping? Home? To a movie? To a motel to have sex with one of your co-workers? So many options and yet, not the one that a group of states attorney types in the Chicago area chose after a bomb threat ended their day at the courthouse prosecuting drunk drivers.

Now that I've told you the job description of the people who got the day off it won't take you long to figure out where that group went -- can't stand the suspense, can you?  Okay, they went to a BAR. I'll let the shock of that revelation sink in.

Keep in mind that along with the thrill of putting drunk bad guys in jail, most states attorney jobs have a perk which only adds to their sex appeal. Congratulations, you get to drive company issued vehicles -- Impalas in this case. However, as with most things governmental, those wheels come with strings attached -- mainly, no drinking and driving, comprende? I smell a dose of irony.

After spending the day infusing themselves with hooch, one inebriated member of this elite group of lawyers drove another equally, if not more impaired, member of the group in his government car to her government car.

Now for the good part. No, there wasn't any hanky or panky.

The female of the two gets into her car with an alcohol level of .25, which for you math impaired is three times the legal limit for drunk. According to those who spent the day drinking with this 46 year old, well respected, much loved attorney, she exhibited no outward signs of being shitfaced. Which may just mean she was actually a full time 24/7 drunk. In fact, maybe she was so used to a high level of alcohol in her system that she probably didn't think she was lizard shee-tah at all. Or at least any more than normal.

Which may explain why she drove away without wearing a seatbelt, began driving 80 MPH in a 45 MPH zone and started talking on her cell phone.

Which may also explain why she never saw the car she struck head-on. Ending her life. 

The woman she hit is recovering from a broken arm and leg.

Since the details of her death have been released, her drinking buddy, the one that used his government car to drive her to her government car, has resigned to join a law firm. Isn't that like a disgraced beat cop quitting to join the FBI?

So far, none of the other drinkers and drivers of government vehicles has been disciplined. I guess death can be a wake up call.


screaminremo303 said...

So how long will it be until one of the turdbag lawyer friends files a dram law suit vs. the bar? Do they have those in Illinois?

No, Cops generally don't resign to work for the FBI. Even we have standards.

swibirun said...

Sounds like he should be considered an accomplice, huh?  

In retrospect, they should have just had sex together!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

psychfun said...

Well I do think this is pathetic but I also remember they are human & no more pathetic than anyone with a brain. Now quite frankly, going through a bomb threat myself I'll tell you it was worse for me. They did not evacuate us & told us hours after! Ugh! Going through that alone I needed a drink to calm my nerves & I can't imagine trying to get out of a building & hoping you will get out in time before it goes off...knowing how some do not handle things well it just might go off.

Now if they were eating I can see you thinking you can have more. She had 1 beer & I think they said 3 martinis. I don't recall what time span they said this was in...they may not have said. You know how many would consume that in lets say 2 hours if they did eat & are on the road. I know she is a prosecuter & like cops we place them even higher on a pedestal but the simple fact is they are having fun & not thinking just like us.

In fact, I'm going to do a posting later today on 20/20 last night they had "Mindless Eating" and how we are not aware of how much we eat & I think this would be drinking also. Then they did one on distinguishing between the most expensive vodka...very interesting. Even the bartenders poured more shot levels in short fatter glasses then tall thin classes...hmmm!

rgossett4195 said...

I saw good old Joe last night on channel 5 trying to show his saddness or perhaps embarrassment at this mess.  In our society alcoholism is called a disease and is excused as much as cancer.  I think that is crap and have first hand (I am now sober 18 years) experience at how being a drunk can be used as an excuse for bad behavior.  This woman did a horrible thing.  The woman she hit will have to live with this for her whole life.  Just as the girl who killed the kids in my hometown must live with her crime.  I read in my little town newspaper of over 10 kids being busted for underage drinking, and now Tom Cross wants to take their license for 3 months, I think it should be until they are 21.  Maybe we can head these people off before they grow up and really think they are so powerful and superhuman because they are not, they kill just like anyone else.  rose~

mombzbe said...

Ugh, that's just a mess.  How awful.  And how awfully stupid.