Sunday, October 12, 2008

Techno Nerdlik

Not that I feel like the dumbest kid in the class, but you may notice that there are no fancy gadgets or gizmos in my cubicle here at Blogspot.

That's not because I'm stupid, although I think we should keep that as a fallback position. I like to think it's because there's part of me that resists having to do something differently, when what I was doing before worked perfectly fine.

One of the reasons I noticed that older people have trouble learning how to use a computer is that there are four or five different ways to do the same task. What?! There's more than one? Why? I want to know why!! One is plenty. Is this a trick?

Perhaps I'm feeling slightly rebellious because I was a goody two shoes during the 60's when lots of people used the laxness of the era as an excuse to inhale anything and swallow everything. I'm noticing that a lot of those same people are dead on arrival when they hit sixty. But I never smoked dope, inhaled poppers, dropped acid or had sex. [Okay, one of those is not true.] However, I drank pretty hard for a year from when I was 21 until I was 22. Even then, I waited until it was legal before I started sucking down the brewskies. I actually remember going to work after getting in at 5 AM, only to realize that I was still lizard sheee-tah. My first clue was the way people took a giant step backwards when I spoke.

What I am going through now is a delayed kiss-off authority phase. Even though these days, I am supposed to be the authority that gets kissed off. While I used to confine my attitudinal stuff to mere comments and being a class clown, I have ratcheted up in recent years to acting out. This is no doubt part of becoming a certified OLD person. Again with a disclaimer -- looking at the world from my viewpoint, I don't think I'm old, especially when there are no mirrors around. On the other hand, I have noticed that the guys who check me out these days tend to be homeless. On the inside, I feel just like I did when I was 34, as long as I take my Zantac after dinner and don't try to turn my neck to the right. For the most part, I just think I'm somewhat visually and flexibility challenged, not old. Of course, having some young buck ask if those pumpkin candies I'm buying are for my grandkids is all it takes to jerk me back to life's unpleasant reality.

I think I'm digressing. Where was I? Oh whining about my failure, okay, inability, to put bells and whistles into this blog. Part of me just wants to be ornery about it. Perhaps some of you will recall what I did when the village came out to my house for the infamous wellness check. They asked me to take my dry cleaning inside because it had been hanging on the mailbox on my front porch beyond its designated expiration date. I not only refused to take the dry cleaning inside, I hung it in an even more prominent spot -- high on my front door -- in the place where most people put their seasonal wreaths. And I left it there for a ver-r-r-r-ry long time after they asked me not to. This behavior seems to be escalating the older I get.

I guess someone more mature would simply consider this annoying change from AOL to Blogspot as an opportunity, not a problem. Something that's a challenge, not a obstacle. Horseshinola. You want a challenge? I'll give you a challenge -- trying to write this entry without having to pee. Later.


Fogspinner said...

Or try reading it without having to pee. Why was your dry cleaning hanging on your mailbox? Just curious.

Remo said...


Is that like "tipacanoeandtylertoo"? My grandmother always said that one.

I'll have the "Life Alert" pendant in the mail ASAP.

Chris said...

You are a rebel!

Tressa Bailey said...

ROFLMAO!!!! Believe it or ot the guys who hit on me are getting younger and younger...OMG I've become Mrs. Robinson! Nooooo I don't take them up on it, they scare me.

I love the dry-cleaning bit. Might I suggest having a little magazine fun and posting a ransom note instead of a wreath next time?

Then of course, pretend not to notice it and ask those who knock on your door that if they see (((insert the name of whoever is kidnapped in the note))) to please tell him or her to come home. Thier dinner has been waiting for a week.

Melissa said...

And when I am old I shall wear purple.........

LOL, love it!